I’m a Woman, So Where Are All the Clothes That Fit Women’s Bodies?

By Anna Waters-Massey

There comes a time in a woman’s life when, even if she still has great abs and fabulous legs, she doesn’t want them on show. There are also days when a woman feels bloated and pale, so she wants clothes that hide the blobby or pokey-out bits. Some days we don’t want to wear suck in undies and strapless bras that fall down, so why on God’s green earth is it so hard to find clothes to suit women?

When I was younger, I could wear anything. Being a size 8, there was a plethora of choices and styles, and everything sat perfectly on my svelte, pre baby body. Shorts? You betcha! Midriff tops? Hell yeah! Miniskirts? Let’s show off those sexy pins! Skin tight mini dresses? Flaunt it baby!

Then I had babies, got older, became shapely and now I have stretch marks, cellulite, wrinkles and dimples. Shopping is harder. Way harder. Women’s clothes are hard to find. Note the emphasis here is on ‘WOMEN’S’ clothes. There’s plenty out there for, teens, tweens and string beans, but not so much for the in-betweens. And let’s face it, the majority of us are the latter. In fact, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, 48.3% of Australian women are over 40 years old and in 2022 the average waist circumference for female adults was 91cm. Isn’t it time that clothing stores started catering to us?

I recently tried on a dress in a shop. They looked tiny so I grabbed the largest they had, a size 14. I mentally questioned whether I had wandered into a children’s store and was trying on a kid’s size 14. I asked if they had any bigger sizes. The wafer-thin girl serving me looked me up and down, then replied that “sorry that’s the largest we have, we only cater to smaller, more petite sizes.” I replied that I didn’t consider myself large and that I thought I was a pretty average size, she shrugged as if to say, “dream on lady.” Needless to say I’ve never been back to that store!

But it’s not just the sizings. It’s the styles, the lengths and the hideously fashionable-at-the- moment, cut out bits! Let’s acknowledge right now the importance of protecting our environment, the war on waste and saving our planet, I’m all for it, but do we really need to cut bits out of all the dresses and decrease the length of skirts to save on fabric? Last week I nearly bought a belt that was a skirt and mistook a dress for a shirt!

While pounding the pavement and trying on clothes can leave me seeking comfort in chocolate and dissolving in a puddle of wine-soaked despair, my heart swells when I see posts from Taryn Brumfitt and the Body Image Movement. My social media feed is now full of likeminded women such as Styling You, Maz Lifestyle and Let Me Try Before You Buy. These ladies amongst others, embrace the shape of women and point me to clothes that will work on my body. Hallelujah!

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A post shared by Anna Waters-Massey | Actor | Writer | Voice Overs | Vocalist (@annawamagram)

I’M A WOMAN

Parody of the hit song ‘I am Woman’ by Helen Reddy

I’m a woman who likes to shop

I want a dress, some pants, a top

Clothes that flatter me and cover all the bits

That once were pert but now they flop

A full-sized shirt that’s not a crop

And where are all the skirts without high splits?

Yes, I am pissed

All these clothes are made for tweens

Yes, I feel dismissed

When people judge my skinny jeans

I’m a woman struggling with shopping

I have curves

I have wobbly bits

I’m a woman

I weigh a lot more than a feather

I have legs that rub together

There’s definitely no thigh gap going on there

Small, medium, large is for a coffee

Not the size of a woman’s body

I just want a dress that covers my derriere

Yes, I’m a 12

And some days I’m a 14

I’m more a gnome than and elf

More a pumpkin than a bean

I’m a woman struggling with shopping

I’ve been stretched cos

I’ve had kids

I’m a woman

I bought a belt that was a skirt

Mistook a dress for a shirt

For the love of God where do I have to go

To find a dress without cut out bits

A skirt that doesn’t ride up on the hips

Jeans that don’t draw focus to a camel toe

No I don’t bite

I just want clothes that are my size

Yes, that’s cellulite

And that’s stretch marks on my thighs

I’m a woman struggling with shopping

I have thighs

I have no gap

I’m a woman

I have dimples

I have wrinkles

I’m a woman

You can follow me on my socials for more of my song parodies.

Anna Waters-Massey is a writer, actor and vocalist from the Gold Coast. She loves entertaining people and making them smile with her writing, song parodies and acting work. She is the creator of the comedy series Stage Mumswhich aired on Network Ten and animated series Insta Infamous and Forest Road.