“I’m Not Allowed to Feed Our Son Because My Wife Says I Don’t Try Hard Enough!”

A husband has found himself in a distressing situation where he’s accused of neglecting his son’s nourishment by his wife. The issue arises when the wife goes on a brief trip, leaving the father and their eight-year-old son alone at home. During this time, the child rejects all food offerings and later complains to his mother that he hadn’t eaten for two days.

Sharing his plight in an online group, the husband expresses how his wife labels him as the cause of their son’s alleged starvation. The child is a notoriously selective eater, and the wife typically handles his meals, often struggling to get him to consume nutritious foods.

“He’s a notoriously picky eater. My wife usually ‘takes care’ of his food, and she always is complaining that he won’t eat any vegetables or meat,” he writes.

“She fights him for hours and then caves and makes him chicken nuggets or macaroni. I’m not allowed to feed him because I don’t ‘try hard enough’, even though she barely gets any real food into him.”

Despite these challenges, the father decides to adopt a different approach when his wife is away. He prepares meals like breakfast with eggs, bacon, and toast, and lunch with turkey sandwiches, all of which the child adamantly refuses to eat. Even dinner, featuring meatloaf, meets rejection. The father remains firm, refusing to cater to the child’s preferences for junk food and snacks.

The child goes without food until the mother’s return, at which point he accuses the father of starving him. Despite the father’s attempts to show the uneaten meals, the mother remains unconvinced. This disagreement escalates, leading to the father being ostracized to another room while the mother consoles their son.

Many commenters on the viral post focus on the child’s well-being rather than the marital conflict. They suggest that the child’s behavior might be indicative of an actual eating disorder, like Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID), which goes beyond typical picky eating tendencies. Such disorders can cause children to avoid specific foods due to extreme sensory aversions.

Others share their personal experiences, highlighting the complexities of dealing with picky eaters and the potential consequences of turning mealtimes into power struggles. They suggest seeking professional help to address the underlying issues affecting the child’s eating habits.

In the midst of these perspectives, some commenters also acknowledge the marital discord as a contributing factor. They point out that the husband’s approach might have exacerbated the situation by turning mealtimes into a power struggle, especially in the wife’s absence, rather than introducing a balanced variety of foods.

“You probably didn’t expect him to last so long without caving and eating the food,” one wrote.

“This should be a wakeup call to both you and your wife that he’s not just picky but might have an actual eating disorder…

“Normally we think that children won’t starve themselves. But kids with ARFID [Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder] do starve themselves because their avoidance of “non-safe” foods is so strong that it overrides normal survival instincts.”

Another said, “I’m a former picky eater, I’m now 32 and have my own kid. If you make food a battle, you will be the one who loses.

“My parents and after them my in laws tried to feed me. I stayed underweight until I moved half a world away to another continent. As soon as the pressure on me stopped I slowly started to eat more.”

“Go see a professional, your wife’s method is wrong but yours is not right either. Combined you two are making it worse.”

Overall, the story touches on the challenges of parenting, communication between spouses, and the importance of addressing potential eating disorders in children.

Images: Pixabay