As with most things in life, weddings don’t always go to plan. Add in a toddler whose routine has been thrown out of the window for the day and is likely overwhelmed by the large gathering of faces gawking at her, and your chances of things going entirely smoothly decrease exponentially…like…pfftt…basically, you’ve got Buckley’s chance!

One recently married man and his new wife were forced to navigate a toddler tantrum during their ceremony. Not ideal, but it meant the little girl calmed down and the celebrant could continue. However, when they received their wedding photographs later, the newly married man was underwhelmed by the photos of him and his new bride.

I just married my wife. We’ve been together for almost 2 years. She has a daughter (almost 2 years old) from a previous relationship. Bio dad isn’t in the picture.

The wedding was back in September. Her daughter was around 18 months old at that point. She was going to be our flower girl.

We had arranged for her regular babysitter to stay with her during the ceremony and take her home for the reception but right when the wedding started, she had a meltdown and only wanted her mom so my wife held her through the entire wedding ceremony. She got hungry and cranky during the ceremony so my wife tried passing her off to the babysitter so she could have a snack but she wasn’t having it so my wife held her daughter while her daughter was eating a ziplock bag of dry cereal during our wedding ceremony. She was also with my wife throughout the reception.

We just got the pictures back and a lot of them have the baby eating cereal on my wife’s hip in them. I told my wife I wanted to photoshop her out of some of the pictures and put the photoshopped ones up, at least make it look like the wedding went the way we planned it.

My wife thinks the pictures with her daughter are cute and wants to hang those up. She doesn’t see why we would photoshop anybody out of our wedding pictures.

I told her I wanted the pictures to look a little more elegant and a baby eating cereal out of a ziplock bag isn’t exactly elegant.

She’s upset now because she thinks I’m trying to erase her daughter and is currently sleeping in her daughter’s room.

The reactions in the comments section were very mixed. But many were unsympathetic to his disappointment regarding the photographs and how the day turned out in general.

Why are you trying to create fantasy photos of a wedding that didn’t happen the way imagined it might? What happened happened. You married a woman with a young child, and that child ended up being right in the middle of things. Accept this with good humour and put up pix of the wedding you actually had. Things do not always go to plan. The more you can learn to see the humour and roll with things and smile about them afterwards, the happier you will all be.

edited: YTA (PurpleVermont)

YTA. You knew what you signed up for, or should have before you got married. Single parent moms and their kids come as a package deal and for you to want to erase her child from the photos is disrespectful to your new wife. I guarantee you she’s rethinking your marriage and wondering if she made a huge mistake marrying you. Her child is, and should, always come first. Especially at that young of an age.

You owe her a HUGE apology and ruined, for her, what she thought was a beautiful day. (RealisticGuidance40)

Can’t you just edit out the bag of cereal instead of the whole child? That’s the way the wedding happened and you’re all a family now. You didn’t just marry your wife, you took on her daughter as your daughter. It’s fitting that she’s in the photos and it happened that way, but the bag of cereal would be annoying. (Admirable-Site_9817)

Wife offered to have the snacks photoshopped out. OP is refusing and wants the daughter removed completely. I think that’s where he became the AH. (MissReanimator)

However, many people could understand why he’d want a photograph of just him and his wife to hang on the wall as a reminder of their wedding day.

Good grief, the amount of people jumping the gun, so eager to “call out” the OP is ridiculous.

He has made no indications that he wants to abandon the child. He wants a few pictures of just him and his wife on their wedding day. You know – THE MARRIED COUPLE.

The child was at the wedding, and behaved as a baby is wont to behave. Ultimately, the mother needed to decide what to do during the ceremony.

She kept the crying child in the ceremony – understandable, OK.

She got pictures with all of them together – nice, fine.

Husband wants a handful of photos with just his wife – THIS IS OK TOO. Not everything has to revolve around the child. (pigeon-mum)

NTA

I was ready to be angry with you from the title – but you’re not trying to remove your SD from your wedding altogether…you’re trying to get some pictures of you and your bride on your special day that don’t include a tantrumy toddler and her snacks. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Edit: All of you saying he’s TA are not seeing that he stated he wants SOME photos to be edited while others will still include the SD. (wanderingstorm)

NTA I used to be a wedding photographer and I believe that every couple need a few at least of just themselves that are frame worthy. I am sorry you didn’t get that. (julzferacia)

Whether or not they thought that Op was out of line, quite a few people suggested a possible solution to the problem that would mean she’d get to keep her photographs with her daughter in them, and he also get his special photos of the two of them.

YTA – Photos of events are representative of said event; they don’t reflect our failed plans, but life as it was lived. Your stepdaughter was at your wedding. Your stepdaughter is part of your life. I’m sure it wasn’t ideal, and I understand wanting a photo of just you and your wife. But I think the answer then would be to get a picture taken now if you both still have your wedding attire. It may not be on the actual wedding day but you can still have the “elegant” photo you want.

I think photoshopping the baby out of the picture sends a bad message. It might make your wife feel like you’re trying to erase her daughter from your life, even if that’s not what you intend. (CrimsonKnight_004)

Do a fancy romantic photo shoot with just your wife. Put those pictures up. And also the unphotoshopped pictures from the actual wedding. (itsadelchev)

I have a friend who is a photographer and he likes to have a session with the couple after the wedding, with them dressed in their bridal attire, but a more natural make-up and hairstyle. And he takes them to some lovely place that is meaningful to them. Sometimes that’s a meadow, a cereal field, a museum, a park… Could that be an agreeable option for both of you? (Expert_Row_7560)

Great idea! Truthfully, I can see both people’s points here about the photos, although I do side slightly more with the wife. Your solution solves the problem altogether! (SopisticatedScreams)

So, what do you think? Is his request acceptable? Should she be more willing to compromise, or is he setting off giant red flags?