Yesterday, Hubbster and I packed the children off to Nana and Grumps’ house. Our mission, (which I had wholeheartedly chosen to accept), was to find our new family car.  To say that I was excited is an understatement.

Our current car, a blue Magna wagon aptly named ‘the war horse’ sadly has seen better days.  With three child seats placed across the back she is almost splitting at the seams, and the exhaust pipe is more holey than a nun in a mesh dress.  Suffice it to say, it is amazing what can be ‘fixed’ with a couple of plastic cable ties!

For months I have been loathe to venture too far from home in her, which has prompted a few lifestyle changes.  For the first time, I have started doing my grocery shopping online, as having it delivered seemed like a safe and attractive option.  I have also been opting to leave home earlier in the mornings to walk the children to kinder and school.  This is fabulous for the legs and bum, of course, especially whilst pushing a toddler in a pushchair…not so fabulous for the bouffant when it decides to bucket down with rain half-way there though!

Finally, with a little prodding and poking, and a shitload of nagging, Hubbster finally conceded that it might be time for an upgrade.

Woo hoo!  Progress at last!

However, the progress after that point was a little slow.  For the last few weeks Hubbster has been scouring the internet and it’s used car websites.  Apparently there are all manner of things to be taken into consideration when buying a used car, which go well beyond both my comprehension and interest levels.  Once you start talking engine sizes, cylinders and transmission and the likes, I’m sorry but you have lost me.  Yawn

So I happily left all the ‘important’ stuff to Hubbster.

Finally, he whittled it down to a handful of cars that fitted his male-minded criteria, and we made appointments to view them – which is when I realized, much to my own surprise, that in the far-reaches of my brain, unbeknownst to me, I also had a list of criteria that I expected my new family car to adhere to.

Space, space, space

After spending the last few years travelling around in what has seemed like a sardine tin on wheels (due to an over-abundance of sardinesque family members), space was of the essence.  If I can space the children out to minimize hair-pulling and eye-ball poking all the better.

The distance between the front seats and the back seats was also an important feature to consider.  Bubble has been known on several occasions now (only when Hubbster has been driving though I might add) to get travel sick.  In my experience it is wise to never underestimate the distance to which a small child is able to project a regurgitated carrot.

Interior

In the event that we can’t afford a wipe-downable leather interior, (which by the way, we couldn’t) all interior should be of a stain-camoflaging colour.  Upholstery with a carrot pattern would be perfect.

Cup holder

Driving a car without a cup holder, in my opinion, would be like a trying to eat a steak with a spoon.  The car needs fuel to go.  I need coffee.  You get the picture.

Tinted windows

Tinted windows are preferable for; the health and comfort of my children’s little eyeballs; the prevention of my own wrinkles and crows feet; and to disguise from other road users the fact that Hubbster and the children often pick their noses at traffic lights.  As they say, a family that picks together, flicks together.  (Please refer to my reason above for wanted space!)

Electric windows

Being stuck in a confined space with someone else’s fart does not excite me, as hilarious as my children may find it.  Electric windows for de-fartifying the car are a must!

Reverse Parking Camera

For obvious reasons – particularly if we are going to get an 8 seater.  In fact….any chance we can get one for the front too?

Colour

Colour is important right?  On seeing the size of our proposed new family car I have changed my criteria for colour accordingly.  Instead of flash and sexy (I’m thinking gun-metal grey), best we go for something more practical (like boring old white).  That way, should I, let’s say, accidentally give her a little make-over in a car park with an unmoving object, she can be easily patched up.  Hey, it’s not likely, but it is possible!  Told you we should have got a parking camera on the front!

Storage

Is there room for my pram, some groceries and a very large cask of wine in the boot?  Did I mean bottle?  No, unfortunately not.  Well, sadly, we’ve got to pay for her somehow, haven’t we?

But she is beauty, ain’t she?  Oh how the enxt 3 weeks will drag until I can bring her home! 

Now all I need to do is give her a name.  Any suggestions?