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Another good old-fashioned f..hairy-tale!


With a few rays of sunshine we’ve been blessed with of late, and the accompanying prospect of being able to slip into a skirt or shorts very soon, I decided to re-evaluate the ol’ the leg hair department.  It’s easy to get away with a bit of leg fuzz, or in my case ‘stubble’ during the winter months when you live in jeans, but nobody likes to see a girl in a pretty floral summer dress with a beard around her ankles, do they?  (Trust me, I’m not even exaggerating!)

So, I made the decision to book myself in for a spot of torture, beauty therapy, and get my pins waxed.   The appointment was made for today.

However, in the meantime, I put my hand up to be involved in a photo shoot for Grace and Audrey’s new (and sensational I might add) spring collection (coming soon).  They were looking for real women, with real curves, and well, after birthing three children, you don’t get more ‘real’ than me!

The shoot was booked for the day before I was scheduled to have my unwanted hairs ripped unceremoniously from their roots.  Arrghhh!  A change of appointments was needed…and quick!  But, as sod’s law would have it, my local salon was fully booked and had nothing…NOTHING until Tuesday.

I quickly dismissed attempting to do it myself…or giving Hubbster the pleasure of doing it.  Despite popular opinions to the contrary, I am not crazy you know!

I quickly reached the conclusion that there was only one thing for it. I was going to have to turn back to my trusty razor…just one more time.  I’d have to cancel the leg wax and the prospect of silky smooth, stubble-free legs until they had grown back long enough.  (Which judging by the current rate of growth would be Thursday!)

Imagine my delight then, when I received the email brief for the shoot.

Models were to provide their bust, hips and waist measurements, along with shoe size so that suitable outfits could be chosen for them.  We were also asked to arrive with clean hair, and without make-up.  I’ll be honest, the thought of travelling an hour and a half on a packed train through the city during peak hour without a scrap of make-up on, struck fear into my heart!  Call me vain, call me insecure.  Whatever!  It ain’t happening!  Instead I opted for a light coverage of foundation which I’d take off when I got there.

But the bit of the brief that filled me with delight was the line, ‘please bring your favourite jeans that you can be photographed in whilst wearing the tops.’


No leg shaving necessary.  My hairy little hobbit feet would be shielded from view anyway.  I’d be able to do the shoot and still make the leg waxing appointment the following day.  Result!

The location for the shoot was a gorgeous Deli and Café in Yarraville called Barkley Johnson.  With its selection of delicious deli meats and cheeses, coffee to die for, walls lined with quality wine and champagne and a sun soaked courtyard with comfy cushions, I thought I had just passed through the pearly gates of heaven.

Yep…this was the life.

Being the first to arrive I had my hair and make-up done first, and I was really excited to check out my reflection and see what I’d be wearing.  It’s not every day you get a makeup artist to make you over is it?

It was then that I was approached with my first outfit.  A gorgeous cowl necked fushia pink dress in the most luxurious jersey material.  It was sensational.  Suddenly my excitement turned to horror.  It was knee-length! 

Oh no!  The horror!

I had to meekly explain the unsightly leg situation, and how I had misinterpreted the brief to mean that we would only we modelling tops and jeans.  Yes…we all know what they say about assumptions don’t we?  Don’t assume…it makes an ass out of u and me!

Appearing gingerly from the changing room in the stunning dress, with my not so stunning legs, I was greeted by very kind, but not altogether honest assertions that you could barely even notice my knee-mullets and ankle beards.

Still…on the bright  side, it could have been worse couldn’t it?  At least it wasn’t swimwear!




Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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