Knicker-Tucking: The Rules According to Me!

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Iβm no expert, of course, but it seems to me that when it comes to fashion there is a very thin line between pulling off a look and looking spectatcular, and completely ballsing it up and looking like a complete dick.
Since I wrote My Impassioned Fashion Plea to Miranda Kerr last week, secret-knicker-tuckers have been contacting me in raptures that what they had thought was their guilty secret, is actually an Aussie phenomenon. The long-legged and the hemmers and sewers aside, it seems that many of us, behind closed doors (and a fairly sizable amount of us in public) are doing the knicker-tuck when those damn maxi dresses are, well, just too damn maxi!
Now, far be it for me to judge, but it has come to my attention thatβ¦wellβ¦some amongst us haveβ¦letβs just say they may have misunderstood the concept of the knicker-tuck. Now, since I brought this up, and we are all feeling a little more confident and daring in our knicker-tucking capabilities, I feel that I have a moral and social obligation to right this wrong.
There are two distinct breeds of knicker-tuckers who get my blessing. (For what itβs worth).
There is the mono-tucker. This involves only hoisting one side of your dress and tucking it into your knickers at the side of your hip. This works on two levels: You get to see your feet, and add a slightly sexy edge to the ensemble. Iβm digging the mono-tuck.
Then there is your traditional dual-tuck. This is preferable when carrying small children, pets or old people with incontinence issues up and down stairs. We donβt want your foot getting caught in that hem β and falling. The end result could be all kinds of messy.
Apparently, (according to my research aka comments and emails) there is also such a thing as bra tucker! Serious! This one, I believe, is generally reserved for especially hot days in Australia, and is specifically home based…or so I hope!
As far as Iβm concerned all of these are fine, in the right context, right?
It is the third kind of knicker-tucker that I have a little bit of trouble with. (I know β I have standards after all β who would have thought?)
The tuck that I have a problem with is theβ¦
The tuck that I really detest isβ¦
I just canβt bring myself to say the words.
Letβs put it like thisβ¦
HOT!
(Minus the dodgy refection on the boobage area and the recently-dragged-through-a-bush mop of hair)…
and just so we are straight, the ‘HOT’ isn’t referring to me, but the tuck…right? (Sounding all kind of arrogant!)
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and this is most definately the NOT!
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Are you a knicker-tucker lover or hater? And which kind of tucker are you?
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(Oh and btw, one of my readers may or not have forwarded the last blog post to Mranda Kerr’s mum! I know! How awesome is that?
Orlando, if you are reading this….you are HOT. Miranda…if Orlando is reading this, then obviously you are too…’No Worries Babe’….you are HOTTER!)