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Morning Mummy Make-Over…Oompa-Loompa-Style!



Morning Mummy Make-Over..Oompa-Loompa-Style!

Yesterday was one of those mornings.  And when I say those kinds of mornings, what I really mean of course, is a morning much like every other.  Three little people wandering, meandering or bouncing around the house simultaneously tugging at my heart-strings and driving me out of my mind.

Despite my best efforts at organization, the period between 6.45am and 8.45am in my house is nothing short of chaotic.  This process is then repeated, double dose, between 5 and 7pm.

But yesterday, I was a little behind on my game, and despite having been woken at the crack of dawn by Bubble yowling from her cot for ‘a cuddle and some milk’ at 5.45am, by 8.30 I still found myself chasing my tail.

“Foghorn, put your shoes on please.”

“Woo, where is your reader?  Come on.  You need to pop it into your bag.”

“Bubble?  Bubble?  Where are you? Oh.  You need to go to the potty so you have stripped off all your clothes.  I see.”

Breathe.  Remember to breathe.

“No, Foghorn!  Don’t tip out the…. (fantastic he has just tipped out ALL of the Lego ALL over the floor.)

“Good girl, Bubble.  You did a wee.  Arghh…no, that’s ok, Mummy will empty it….Bubble put it down. “ (Shit!)  “Good try sweetheart, next time let mummy tip it in the toilet.” (It’s all over the freaking floor).

“Foghorn will you put your shoes on, NOW!  It’s time to go.  Woo will be late for school.  No, I can’t help you.  I am dressing Bubble (again) and you are a big 3 year old kinder kid now, you show me how you can do it.”

“WOO!  Will.YOU.STOP.BOUNCING.ON.THE.COUCH!  And go and get your school hat please.  We are going to be late.”

“Why are you crying Foghorn?  You stood on some Lego.  Well, you should have had your shoes on!”


With approximately 20 seconds to go before we had to walk out of the door, I suddenly realized that I hadn’t had anytime to get myself ready.  A quick glance in the bathroom mirror confirmed what I had feared.

I looked tired.  A little pick me up for the school run was definitely in order.

I didn’t have the time or the inclination to apply a full face of make-up, but a quick brush over my face with the Nude by Nature powder and a quick lick of mascara would be enough to make me feel slightly more human.  The bird’s nest on my head was beyonf help and , well,…the rest I would leave to a skinny Cappacino from the local bakery post school-run.

It wasn’t until I picked up the make-up brush, and rubbed it absent-mindedly across my cheekbone that I discovered that someone, some still unnamed little person, had tampered with the contents of my make-up bag.


So…who dipped triple-dipple dunked my foundation brush in the bronzer?

Am I the only one that encounters  endures these chaotic mornings?  How do you keep a handle on things?



Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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