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My Lovely Lady Lumps

lady lumps humps kath kim

lady lumps humps kath kim

My humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps. Check ’em out!

Phew! It has been a somewhat stressful five days since first finding a lump in my breast, and my visit to the Doctor.

Today was the day I was both dreading and keen to get over and done with. This morning Hubbster and I dropped the children at day care and headed off to my ultrasound appointment.

“Um, you do realise that it is male performing the procedure today do you?” the woman behind the counter looked down her nose and asked, in a manner that only snooty medical receptionists seem capable of.

I’ve had three kids lady, I I’m all out of modesty these days. Whopping a boob out is nothing compared to that, I wanted to shoot back at her.

“Oh yes,” I flashed her an excited smile that suggested I’d just won the lottery. Her mouth pulled back into the shape of a cats arse and she turned back to her computer.

The actual procedure itself wasn’t uncomfortable in the least…unless of course you count the part where I was laying back on the bed, arm behind my head with my breast on full display.

“I’m just going to pop some of this gel on you,” the large man said standing over me clutching a bottle in his hand. He shook it a few times and squeezed. Out shot the gel all over my breast, chest, neck and chin in an epic explosion.

Hubbster and the sonographer tried desperately to stifle their laughter as I lie there wondering what obscenities had just passed through their collective male brains! No prizes for guessing that one!

Anyway…moving swiftly on…the upshot is that, just as the gorgeous Georgia from Parental Parody told me a few days ago it would be, it seems I just have a ‘lump of loveliness’ or as it is known in the medical world – a cyst! I much prefer ‘lump of loveliness.’  I didn’t even have to have the biopsy, which pleased me no end.

Thank you for all your messages of support and kind words over the last week.

As the ladies from Fountain Lakes would say, I think it may be time for a Chardy…or two to celebrate!

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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