The Male Perspective on Mastectomy
Today we have a reader question for the Daddy bloggers…and it’s a bit of a toughy!
‘Boobs, breasts, melons, baps, babylons, bazoombas. Whatever you want to call them, we all know that (the majority of men) LOVE them, and as women we are pretty attached to them too. Angelina Jolie copped some criticism of her decision to have a double mastectomy, so I am interested to know how ‘the other half’ would counsel their partners if they found that they had the BRCA gene?’ ~ ANON
David ‘Bucky’ Goldstein – Aussie Daddy Bloggers
Whoa, tough one! When I signed up to this gig I thought I’d be writing about sex, poo, snot, insomnia and sex, nothing serious like this! I’m certainly no expert on this matter and I don’t read women’s gossip mags so I had to Google Angelina just to bring myself up to speed as to what’s happening in Brangelina Land. Angelina’s brave decision has at the very least raised awareness of the BRCA gene.
Firstly, we’ve never had to experience anything like this and I cross every bone in my body hoping we never do – to be honest, just thinking about this being a possibility makes me feel a little ill. I’d imagine when things like this occur you are provided with copious amounts of info regarding support services, so of course that’s where you’d start. After that would come education – we’d both have to better understand the whole situation before putting in place our plan of attack. I’d try to locate someone who has experienced this and who is willing to share experiences, to show my partner that she’s not alone, and that she can resume everyday life once she has closed the book on this chapter of her life. I’d imagine after that we’d just ensure that the channels of communication are well and truly open – for me to be the most supportive partner possible I’d need to be there for her and understand the challenges she faces each day. So the main forms of counseling would simply be communication, being by her side always, keeping a level of ‘normality’ in all other facets of life where possible and being the best sounding board I could possibly be.
Next week can we have a snot or poo question please?
Travis ‘Chubba’ Bull – Tacklenappy
Every time I hear of a women having to remove breasts for either breast cancer treatment or getting rid of the pesky gene I shudder. Not for me, not for males, husbands etc. but obviously for the beautiful women who has struggled with this enormous decision and put her family and health first.
This for me, this sacrifice is huge and is far more sexy than any size bazungas I have ever seen. Without getting all sensitive and snaggy I will say I would rather have a partner and mother of my children around to grow old with me than a set of boobs. Christ, if that’s all I wanted I would have gone down the shops and brought myself a BBQ apron and fake tits.
So counselling wise I would in a strange way just try and be a wall, carry the load a little and support the decision that she would make. Ultimately it’s a personal decision and there aren’t too many blokes who would do anything else.
Reservoir Dad
I love Reservoir Mum. She’s been with me for over half of my life now. She’s shaped who I am and I have no ability to comprehend life without her. She’s so much a presence in my life that even when I think back to the pre-Reservoir-Mum-years – birth to 17 years of age – I feel her there.
Angelina and Brad are wonderful. Putting the fame and fortune aside, their relationship is something that millions of couples can relate to. And I don’t feel like the mastectomy is really a decision in this case – a mother and wife could die.
Reservoir Mum and I just love each other – simple as that – and that affection goes way beyond all the boobs and balls and bells and whistles.
I would be so sad for my soul mate if this had to happen. But I would stay right beside her all the way and let her know that nothing’s changed in terms of how I feel about her and who she is.
And sometime down the track, maybe a few years or more, when there’s been the time to grieve, I’ll try to add some levity to the situation by gift-wrapping her a pair of sacateurs with the message, ‘you can cut my balls off when you’re ready (insert smiley face).’
Do you have a question you’d like to put to The Other Half?
Jolene
Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.
