The Toll a Decade Takes on Your ‘Going Out For The Night’ Preparations.
We are meeting up with the some of the old crew that we used to work with in the Aussie themed bar in the UK called the Walkabout.
(If you have travelled the UK in the last 12 years you have no doubt heard of this chain and may have even enjoyed a few drunken nights there.)
I’m excited. I’m having a night out in the city…with REAL grown-ups!!!! Yeehaa!
Will they look at me and think ,“What the hell happened to her?”
I bloody hope not. So preparations for a night out on the town began today with a visit to the beauty salon for a spray tan and eyebrow wax.
So…here is my comprehensive list of things that have changed over the last decade with regards to having a night out.
2002 –You had a 22 year old smoking hot bod!
2012 – Body has birthed <insert number> beautiful, exhausting, grey hair inducing children and body has gone off the boil and is now lukewarm at best.
2002 – 5 minutes notice, a dash of lippy and an overdraft limit is all that is needed for a night out on the town.
2012 – Two weeks notice, a babysitter,meticulous planning and a visit to either the beauty salon or the hairdressers (but preferably both) is required to go…past the garden gate!
2002 – You went out 3 or 4 times a week.
2012 – You go out 3 or 4 times a year (if I’m lucky!)
2002 – You couldn’t care less about your bushy eyebrows. A trip to the beauty salon is equivalent to 2 shots of Black Sambuca/or Tequila, and you’re not wasting valuable drinking dollars!
2012 – Stray eyebrows have now gravitated to chin area also, and you throw up in your mouth at the very thought or whiff of a solitary black Sambuca/tequila.
2002 – You Sunbake topless in the backyard to get some colour before a night out, and worry that someone will peek over the fence and see, not your boobs, but your lack of them.
2012 – You go for a spray tan and (for the first time) get asked to raise your arms (when they do the front) and bend over (when they do the back) to combat those white bits due to boobage and bum cheekage overhang! Arghhhhh!
2002 – A night in a hotel means hanging a sign around your neck with ‘If lost please return me to …<insert name and address of hotel>
Has anyone else noticed a difference in their preparations for a night out over the last ten years?
Jolene
Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.
