Fertility Coach Shares Tips On How To Tell Friends Trying to Conceive You’re Pregnant

Telling friends that are struggling to conceive that you’re pregnant, can be a really tricky thing to do. A fertility coach has gone online to share 5 dos and don’ts of how to let your mates know you’re expecting without breaking their heart.

If you’ve been through any type of infertility struggle then you’ll know how difficult it is to hear news of your friend’s pregnancy. Of course you’re happy for them but that doesn’t stop your feelings of sadness and frustration at your own situation.

But what happens when you’re the one that’s pregnant and has to break the news to a girlfriend who may have been struggling for years to conceive. How do you say it with empathy taking her feelings into account?

One mum who found herself in this exact position is now sharing her tips on how to break the news gently.

“I still remember the phone calls from friends telling me they’re pregnant,” Ceci Jeffries says. “I was trying so hard to be excited for them but I was crying on the inside. Why is it so easy for them and so hard for me? Will I ever be a mum?

“All my grief came flooding back yet I had to be excited for them on the spot.”

After becoming a fertility coach, Ceci made a video that to help share your happy news, without breaking your friend’s heart.

In the video, Ceci says that you can absolutely enjoy the fact your pregnant without hurting your friend’s feelings. “If you know your friend has been trying to have a baby for a long time, please always remember, their pain doesn’t take away from the happiness they feel for you,” Ceci says. “They are happy for you, just sad for them.”

These are the 5 tips for having that conversation:

1. “Text them first so they can process in private: A text message instead will give your friend time to feel what they need to feel in private. Ideally, send the message at night when they’re likely home from work. Give them time to let their emotions come to surface in private.”
2. “Don’t surprise them so they have to react in public: instead of telling them in front of a group of people – let them process without eyes watching them.”
3. “Don’t try to hide it from them and tell everyone else: telling others before them may seem easier at first but one of the most isolating feelings is the feeling that everyone else knew before you or that your friends have been keeping things from you. I’ve been hurt more when a pregnant friend purposely avoided telling me because they didn’t want to upset me. I felt left out. I felt like a victim.”
4. Acknowledge their pain: “Acknowledge that you know they’re in a hard place and hearing news of another pregnancy may make it even harder. Acknowledge what they are going through and how unfair it is. Understand that they might be grieving not being able to have a baby the old fashioned way. I know I found this particularly tough.”
5. “Don’t joke about missing wine. These throw away statements hurt.  Just be sensitive to their situation and save the pregnancy jokes and complaints for another audience.”

   And finally she tells mums-to-be to still be excited about their own baby news. “You deserve to be so happy and excited with your baby news. Don’t apologise to them for your pregnancy, it is such a special time. You can still be great friends throughout your pregnancy with communication and sensitivity. Just be gentle and be honest.”

Great advice, don’t you think?

Images: Instagram