“I Don’t Want my Child to Visit and be Surrounded by Second and Third Hand Smoke.”
A woman has found herself locked in battle with her mum over her chain smoking habit. Worried that her new born son will be exposed to second hand smoke she says she doesn’t feel comfortable visiting her at home. Do you agree with her decision?
“So I just had a baby and my mother is very excited to have him over when he gets older and she talks nonstop about it,” the woman shared in her Reddit thread. And while she’s happy her mum wants to be involved it’s her chain smoking that’s the issue.
“She is a habitual chain smoker,” the new mum revealed. “She smokes in her car like nobody’s business. She has a three season room with glass windows that she smokes inside of, so essentially a part of the inside of her house.”
Saying she’s never touched cigarettes in her life, the woman says she can’t stand the smell of smoke. “To this day I have never touched nicotine in my life because the smell of cigarettes makes me sick,” she explained.
“It disgusted me as a child that she would smoke with me in the car and when I’d ask for her to stop she’d just say that she’s the parent and she gets to do what she wants,” she says.
The new grandma is allowed to smoke outside when she visits her daughter, but never in the house or car, “which she begrudgingly obeys.”
Now with a new baby, the woman says she doesn’t feel comfortable taking him over to a house filled with smoke. “I don’t want my child to visit and be surrounded by second and third hand smoke,” she wrote on Reddit. “When I told her this she got very offended and she told me I was depriving her of being a grandmother.”
And while she’s firm on her decision she says her husband wants her to reconsider, saying: “it would be nice to maybe have a break during the summer and for him to spend time with her.” But the mum took heart from the Redditors who agreed him her on her strong stance with no smoking.
“Funny story — my gpa smoked and drank when I was about kindergarten age,” one commenter said. “His doctor told him if he wanted to be around to see his grandkids grow up he should stop doing both. He quit cold turkey and only recently passed at 94. And I got to spend soooo much time at my grandparents house.”
“Your mother is denying herself the right to be a grandmother due to her life choices,” another shared. “It’s ok for her to smoke, but it’s also ok for others to make their own life choices about whether or not it affects them or not. Your job as a mother is to protect your child.”
“If there’s ever a reason to stop smoking, it’s this,” added one other. “Tell her you’re the parent and you get to do what you want.”
“Do not let your child stay with her,” advised one person. “That’s a hazard to your child’s health. She is trying to manipulate you.”
What do you think?