This Mum’s Beautiful Post Explains Exactly Why Mums Are Always Tired – We are the Keepers
Parenting can be exhausting — that is a basic truth any mum will happily tell you! Whether it is being up in the night due to feeding a baby or caring for a sick child, or ferrying the children around to various activities or slaving away in the kitchen making nutritious food for the family, this gig is hard work.
The thing is, it’s not just physical exhaustion that plagues motherhood, it’s the mental exhaustion as well. We’re the powerhouse behind the family that keeps everything running smoothly, the reason why we never run out of toilet paper or why we never miss an appointment or sports event. Someone has to remember all the mundane stuff, and it’s us.
One mum paused for breath while standing over her kitchen sink last week, and realised exactly why us mums are exhausted most of the time. Cameron Poynter penned a Facebook post for her blog Lucky Orange Pants which has since gone viral as other mums liked and shared in agreement.
I am the keeper.
I am the keeper of schedules. Of practices, games, and lessons. Of projects, parties, and dinners. Of appointments and homework assignments.
I am the keeper of information. Who needs food 5 minutes before a meltdown occurs and who needs space when he gets angry. Whether there are clean clothes, whether bills are paid, and whether we are out of milk.
I am the keeper of solutions. Of bandaids and sewing kits and snacks in my purse. But also of emotional balms and metaphorical security blankets.
I am the keeper of preferences. Of likes and dislikes. Of nightly rituals and food aversions.
I am the keeper of reminders. To be kind, to pick up their trash, to do their dishes, to do their homework, to hold open doors and write thank you notes.
I am the keeper of rituals and memories. Of pumpkin patches and Easter egg hunts. I am the taker of pictures, the collector of special ornaments, and the writer of letters.
I am the keeper of emotional security. The repository of comfort, the navigator of bad moods, the holder of secrets and the soother of fears.
I am the keeper of the peace. The mediator of fights, the arbiter of disputes, the facilitator of language, the handler of differing personalities.
I am the keeper of worry. Theirs and my own.
I am the keeper of the good and the bad, the big and the small, the beautiful and the hard.
Most of the time, the weight of these things I keep resembles the upper elements on the periodic table – lighter than air, buoying me with a sense of purpose.
But sometimes the weight of the things I keep pulls me down below the surface until I am kicking and struggling to break the surface and gasp for breath.
Because these things I keep are constantly flickering in the back of my brain, waiting to be forgotten. They scatter my thoughts and keep me awake long past my bedtime.
Because all these things I keep are invisible, intangible. They go unnoticed and unacknowledged until they are missed. They are not graded or peer-reviewed or ruled on by a court. And sometimes they are taken for granted.
My husband and my boys are kind and generous and they love me hard. And this is by far the greatest job I have ever had. But sometimes being the Keeper is exhausting. Because you feel like you’re doing it alone.
So to all of you who are keepers, I see you.
I know the weight of the things you keep.
I know the invisible work you do, which doesn’t come with a paycheck or sick leave, is what makes the world go round.
I see you.
And I salute you.
She’s absolutely right.
We never stop. We are constantly worrying and remembering and juggling and analyzing. It’s why we toss and turn at night, or struggle to soothe our own worries — we’re too busy trying to soothe everyone else’s.
And it mostly goes unnoticed by our family, this often thankless task of keeping the ship afloat. It’s just what we do.
I see you and I salute you as well. Mums rule.
Source: Facebook/Lucky Orange Pants