Stepmum Says She Doesn’t Regret Not Buying Her Stepkids Gifts

A woman admits to buying special gifts for her biological sons but not for her step children. After 15 years of marriage she says their relationship has always been troubled. Should she give up on trying to salvage the relationship or should she continue trying?

Writing into Reddit, the woman says her step kids’ mum has always tried to turn them against her even when she lost custody and the kids were living with her and her husband. Eventually, the family moved to shared custody. However, their relationship with their stepmother did not improve.

“We had two kids of our own during all this. Our boys. My stepchildren never accepted them as their brothers. When they were all teens they decided to spend most of the time with their mum. It was a tough to see how things had gone but we had to accept it,” the woman wrote. “My stepkids are now 23, 21 and 18 and my boys are 7 and 5.

“The youngest one graduated high school this summer and that was when the kids got together to tell my husband they were having a dinner for the youngest graduation but I was not welcome and neither were our boys, that there was no place in their lives for us and we were not welcome to try and play a part anymore.”

The woman decided enough was enough and says she’s done with trying to make an effort.

“I decided I would just be done. No more open to anything or hoping for more while accepting their boundaries. I would just be done.”

One day she went out and bought her biological sons a special gift with plans to give it to them in the near future. So she hid them out of sight so the boys wouldn’t find them.

“One day my sister in-law was over to borrow a pair of earrings and she found the gifts while helping me search. She told her parents (my husbands parents) and the three of them confronted me and said I should have bought something for my stepkids too. That while things are bad now I have been a mother figure in their lives since they were young and I shouldn’t give up on our relationship. And not getting anything makes it a certainty things will never get better.”

The woman shared the information on Reddit in hopes of understanding if she’s being petty for refusing to buy her stepchildren a gift. While a few sided with the sister-in-law, the majority thought the woman’s response was fair.

“It would be one thing if they were still actual kids, but these are adults who have made it clear they don’t want you in their life. It would be nice if one day things could be good between all of you, but I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong by not trying to make a relationship happen anymore,” one person wrote.

“Your stepkids deserve nothing from you,” wrote another.

“They have decided you and your boys are not their family. You have zero obligation to these adults,” said another.

What do you think?

Images: Pixabay