The strange thing though is that this didn’t happen during her first pregnancy. In fact “he has definitely given me oral before while I’ve been pregnant,” she wrote in her post. And while she doesn’t want to force her husband into anything she says “I am definitely hurt and feel undesirable by his rejection. Plus I enjoy giving and receiving oral.”

“So now I’m thinking that I’m guessing I’ll just hold off on asking until after I have this baby and after my body heals,” she wrote. “I guess I’m asking for input if anyone has experienced this or advice on how to just be happy and deal and respect my partner’s preferences without being selfishly hurt.”

She continued by saying: “He says that he loves me and that I’m gorgeous and desires me but the closer I am to birth the more different my body is and that it’s not his preference to do it and it should be considered a valid reason. At least I have the clit sucker and porn to resort to,” she joked.

Asking for advice from fellow Redditors, the woman hoped to come to some sort of agreement with her husband. Something that would make them both happy and satisfied.

“It’s a two way street honestly,” one person pointed out. “Yeah, if your husband is uncomfortable with the idea of oral with you while you’re pregnant, you have to respect it. Conversely, he has to understand that if he’s going to treat you differently because your now pregnant with child, you’re going to feel hurt, and undesirable. My advice would be that you both need to hear each other out.”

“My husband cut off sex at about 6 months because he was uncomfortable,” another shared. “It was SO FRUSTRATING for me but we talked it out and I respected his decision. It’s so challenging, people always joke about hormones but you cannot control them and when they’re flooding your body you get a bit crazy, that’s OK. Just communicate! Maybe grab some toys or find something that’s not quite the equivalent but will fill the void for now. Remember this isn’t forever, you will get your body back and things will get easier.”

While another offered this point of view: “Keep in mind, when you’re pregnant, people don’t see your body as just your body. That’s not only your vagina, that’s his baby’s exit strategy. It can feel a bit weird when you think about it. And more bad news, you’ll have the baby, he’ll be ready to throw you down and you will likely be the one uninterested. It usually takes a minute after you have kids.”

“I think you are allowed to ask him to expand on this but definitely not while you are trying to be intimate or while you are feeling rejected,” another added. “It could be a case of you taste different and he isn’t enjoying it or a case of he’s worried you will go into labour in his mouth or that the baby will see or something really odd like that that might need some reassurance. Men do develop really odd fears that need reassurance. Remember to not take his answer personally and if he doesnt want to answer you then respect that.”

“You’re body odor and vaginal secretions can change down there during pregnancy,” said one woman. “My husband couldn’t bring himself to do anything sexual after a month or so because we’ve misscaried a few times and my pregnancies were high risk. My OBGYN never took sex off the table but he was just way too paranoid about it. There’s nothing you can do about it. You have respect his feelings and not take it personal.”

In an updated post, the woman agreed that perhaps she needs to consider her husband’s feelings also. “Changes happening in body chemistry could be changing how I taste. He hasn’t mentioned anything like that in particular yet. I’ll try and clarify. But I’m thinking if it’s not him being kind, or not being bothered, than his feelings are perhaps more psychological as other people are suggesting in the thread.Considering him psychologically accepting the reality of baby coming and birth is important,” she added.

What do you think? What would you do in this situation?

Images: Reddit and Pixabay