It’s Father’s Day this weekend, and if you’ve yet to get to the shops to buy your partner or dad something nice, fear not! A recent Reddit thread invited men to share what they really want for Father’s Day, and it turns out that it’s not all that dissimilar to what women want for Mother’s Day!

Man, if my wife could just let me know that she sees all the work I do around the house and for our family that would be great. I just want to be seen. (FakeInternetArguerer)

My kids to fight in another room and go to their mother to resolve them. (Yes! asking them not to fight is not possible I asked) (Pitiful_Locksmith_59)

I’m an adult and can buy my own things. What I cant buy myself are experiences with the family, time alone and personalized things that show real thought. Everything else is just stuff I could have bought myself.

My favorite father’s day gift in my 4 so far was a personalized book about me and my son going on adventures. I read to him before bed every night and a few years later it’s still one of my favorite to read him.

Think – what does my husband do with the kid(s) normally and how can I make that more special?

Or… does he just need a day off from responsibilities? (Jets237)

I’d like my wife to stop trying to make the house look like a Southern Living cover page for 24 hours. It’s ok for the house to look like we live there. (TigerUSF)

I told my wife I want a picture of the three of us. Not a professional photographer, hell it can be a nice selfie. I noticed that I’m always taking pics of her and our child, and she’s doing the same for us, but rarely we take a moment to take a picture together. We’re actively trying to change that. (mauibeerguy)

My favorite line about Father’s Day comes from an interview Seth Meyer does with Adam Scott where they talk about Father’s Day. Seth’s response when his wife asks him what he wants for the day: “I want to do what I do every Sunday. I just don’t want you to be mad about it.” (FattyMcNabus)

Video games and beer all day (narrow_octopus)

I’ve got an 11 yo daughter and 15 yo son. Last year my wife took us to a steak brunch, I got a 12 pack of IPA’s and we came home and the 4 of us played shredders revenge and then floated in the pool. Perfect Father’s Day (Trill_McNeal)

I just want to be told I can go do whatever the hell I want without any obligations or anyone bothering me. Just want to wake up and be told, have a great day…then silence. (wiseknob)

I want the ability to buy myself something without guilt. I’d tell my wife what I want directly, but then she would buy it without consideration for the specifics- ie, I mentioned in passing I wanted a new pepper mill. She got me a nice new pepper mill. It works fine, but I hate it. I wanted to shop for it. I wanted to go looking for the perfect one. I wanted to go and spend the $20 on what I wanted without feeling bad about wasting so much money on something that I could get at the dollar store. (OandKrailroad)

Coffee in bed and not being the one to do breakfast. Maybe some time to organize my disaster of a garage a bit. A nice card. Walk at the nature preserve. I suspect most want a little combination of some time off and some quality time. (RonaldoNazario)

I want to be allowed to turn my brain off for the whole day. I have so much to deal with on a day to day basis I want to sit and think about nothing for a day. (non_Professional)

Honestly, just some recognition — from the wife and kids. Nothing exorbitant, just some sincere expression of recognition and appreciation.

And I don’t want to wipe any butts but my own for the day. (anon)

i never understood it growing up, but i just want some hand made shit from the kids 🥲 (marcdel)

$600 driver and the day off to go play golf.

Too much to ask?

I know the cliche is (supposed to be) “all a dad wants for Father’s Day is to spend time with his kids”

But the truth is most dads feel constantly guilty about having time away from their kids. I sure do. I feel chronic guilt on weekends that I am expected to spend every minute making up for time I don’t get with them during the week.

I love my kids more than anything on earth, but my perfect Father’s Day is where I feel genuinely guilt free sleeping in past 7am, going to play golf and relax for the day. Then I promise you I can’t wait to see my kids toward the end of the day and put them to bed and kiss them and sing to them and all the other stuff that makes my heart full.

Parenting seems like such a competition sometimes and in (many) traditional houses the mom is always winning by a mile so the father always seems like he’s playing catch up. In my house my wife took full 12 month maternity leaves with both kids, and now she actually works at their school so she takes them to and from school every day and sees them during the day. Then she’s alone with them for at least an hour after work before I come home and then it feels like when I walk in the door “it’s your turn” I literally can’t compete with that.

And frankly even though I get about 2 hours a day with my kids if I’m lucky, it’s the 2 hours where they are the crankiest and most tired, and…. So am I! I cherish my time with my kids, but I constantly feel like I’m trying to simultaneously recharge after a 12-14 hour day at work, and also make up for being a working dad who doesn’t see his kids enough.

It’s exhausting!! This is not taking away from my wife in any shape or form…. She is a hero. She has the patience of a Goddam saint. But that doesn’t mean I’m not still exhausted by 6pm too!

So… the short answer is, depending on your home and family situation, the best gift for dad might be a day that is literally just for him… it doesn’t even need to be on Father’s Day. In fact for me I’d prefer to have breakfast with my family on a Saturday, go golfing and maybe go out for some beers with my buddies afterward and sleep in the next morning.

As long as my wife truly made me feel like I was “allowed” to do this and she wasn’t secretly wishing I was home with the kids, that would be the best gift ever. (FatFaceFaster)

What will you be getting your partner/dad for father’s day this year?