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“My Husband Suddenly Decided Our Boys Should Stand Up to Pee, So I Think He Should Clean Their Toilet Mess Up From Now On!”

If you have ever had the misfortune of getting up for a nocturnal visit to the bathroom and sat down in the dark only to find you’ve lowered your rump onto a puddle of someone else’s stone-cold piss, you’ll know exactly how gross it is. Let’s be honest, even in the daylight, being confronted with the sight and smell of wayward urine streaks on anything from the toilet seat to the floor, and yes, even the walls, is most unpleasant. What’s more frustrating though is that often the offending sprayer (be they adult or child), isn’t the same default person tasked with cleaning the bathroom, and so, more often than not, zero fu%*s are given!

However, there is a simple solution to the problem.


Unless you are using a urinal, sitting down to go to the toilet  is far more hygienic – and thankfully, men seem to be finally embracing the idea. In Germany they even have a name for a man who sit to pee – ‘sitzpinkler,’ and public toilets feature signs encouraging men to sit.

According to a YouGov poll 25% of Australian men always use the sit-down method. But, not everyone is on board. Some men still seem to think you have to stand up and imitate a fire hydrant to ‘be a man.’

One mum recently encountered this archaic attitude when her brother-in-law was visiting her house and saw her young son sitting on the toilet to pee, and voiced his protest. Writing into Reddit, the woman shares the encounter and the subsequent fall out from it.

Our house has three bathrooms. The ensuite is basically mine. All of my products are in there and it’s where I do my business. My husband also uses it but not for much more than brushing his teeth, grabbing a glass of water or a midnight pee.

The main bathroom is the one my husband and three kids use. The half bath on the main floor is mostly for guests and washing up before meals.

After we potty trained our sons I kept making sure that they were sitting to pee. They are young and don’t really care. They can use a urinal when we are out somewhere.

My brother-in-law was over last month and saw my oldest boy in the bathroom by accident. My sons don’t lock the bathroom door yet because they don’t want to get locked in. Yes I know they are easy to open. But after one got locked in and had a panic attack it is just easier for now.

Anyways my brother-in-law made a joke about my son not stinking up the bathroom. My son told him that he was just peeing. For some reason my BIL took offense at this and started bugging my husband about his sons sitting to pee.

My husband then started telling the boys that if they are only peeing that they should stand. They boys don’t have great aim but they make up for it with a short attention span. When I went in the bathroom after a few days of that it was gross. I turned around and walked out. When my husband got home I told him that he picked up a new chore. He now has to clean the toilets, floors, and walls in the bathrooms the boys are using. He said that it wasn’t his turn. I said it was his idea for the boys to stand to pee so he had to deal with the consequences.

He did it but he is upset about me unilaterally making this decision. Like he did about the boys.

Predictably, commenters were quick to point out the husband’s hypocrisy.

Her husband’s mad that she unilaterally changed the chores, and yet he sees nothing wrong with unilaterally telling the boys they must stand up to pee. What world does he live in?

There’s nothing wrong with little ones seeing how dad does it, but until they are better controlled, they should continue to sit. Some men, I understand, prefer it themselves. (hbroo12)


NTA. If he wants to unilaterally make decisions regarding the children – especially after giving in to his ignorant brother – that causes a grotesque mess to be made, he can clean it up. (MyHairsOnFire2023)

Men also jumped in on the discussion with one Dad of boys adding ‘the peen is not a precision tool. They never get better aim.’

We did a poll at our guy’s poker group, like 14 guys, mid 30s to early 40s; most married but a few singles, EVERYONE peed sitting down at home. It’s just easier. (opiestofbutts)

So much NTA.

    1. Your BIL should learn how to knock.
    2. Sitting when you pee doesn’t make you less of a man, as your BIL and Husband seem to imply
    3. If your husband insists on teaching the boys to pee while standing, it’s his job to clean or he has to teach the boys to clean up after themselves.

As a penis owner, I can tell you that even with years of experience peeing while standing. it always makes less of a mess to sit down than stand up. Your BIL and husband seem like some proud sexists for equating manhood to standing and peeing and expecting you to clean it. (ExternalRip6651)

Others jumped in on the conversation to share their delight at having converted their partners to the sit-down method.

I FINALLY very recently convinced my husband to sit to pee after over 14 years of marriage thanks to comments like these on Reddit! I screenshotted a bunch of men talking about how they sit at home and how gross it is to leave piss sprinkles all over the floor/seat/walls and he’s finally listened and has sat down for the last couple of months. Our 9yo daughter even busted out the black light flashlight to show him how freaking disgusting standing to pee is just 3 days after fully sanitizing the bathroom!

I’m SO THANKFUL, especially since we have 3 daughters with one who is a toddler that has recently been potty trained; I would get absolutely disgusted even just thinking about her little feet standing in his pee sprinkles. Blegh. (riskytisk)

But, hygiene issues aside, many commenters were disgruntled at the brother-in-law’s outdated and misogynistic attitude.

It’s also misogynistic to label sitting down to pee as weak because women do it. If women stood to pee, men would be sitting down. I would be so pissed if my husband told me son he had to stand to pee. (Pseudo_meat)

Has your husband addressed why his focus is on how his children pee rather than why his grown adult brother can’t stop commenting on how a six year old is going to the bathroom? (Weerbles)


There is no fucking reason men/boys need to stand to pee. Your husband is encouraging your kids to piss all over the bathroom because his brother called his kids sissies (we all know that’s what happened).

This whole thing is freak fragile masculinity BS and your husband can clean up the piss. (Lily_May)

Just as we suspected, the mum was ruled in this case not to be the asshole! In fact, making her husband clean the offending bathroom should be seen as a lesson rather than a punishment. If he has to clean up the result of his new bathroom rule, he’s much more likely to understand the merits of his sons sitting down to pee.


As one guy comments “I’m 30’s man and I sit down to pee, my mum made cleaning the toilet my job as a teenager and just a week after I started cleaning, I started sitting.” Well done mum!

Where do you stand on the boys and men sitting down to pee debate?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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