Despite having 3 bathrooms in their home, one woman is frustrated and wants to know if she’s being unreasonable to expect her husband to use one of the bathrooms that they don’t bath the kids in to poop. The issue is that he regularly uses it right before it’s time to get the kids bathed and ready for bed. Having raised the issue with him, he doesn’t see the issue and thinks he should be able to use any toilet he pleases in his own home. So who is right?

We have three bathrooms in our house. One is right outside the main living space, the other is in our bedroom and 

then we have a half bath in the utility hall. My husband almost always poops after dinner when the house is active and without fail, he does it in the “main” bathroom. Not only can I sometimes hear him pooping, but it’s the only bathroom with an actual bathtub and we give the kids baths after dinner. I don’t want to listen to my husband poop and then do baths in a stinky poop smelling bathroom when there are literally two other bathrooms he can use.

When we moved in together into the house we put the poop stool from his house in the utility bathroom and dubbed it the poop bathroom. Now he just uses the kids foot stool. I have asked him COUNTLESS times to quit pooping in the main bathroom.

He thinks I am being ridiculous and that he should be able to use whatever bathroom he wants and said it’s not that big of a deal. I think pooping in the bathroom in the main living area is rude, especially right before bath/bed time. (Like who wants to brush their teeth in a poopy smelly bathroom?)

AITA for continuing to bring this up and asking him to use one of the other two bathrooms?

Yes, that’s right! She is really asking if she is in the wrong to keep bringing this up! He has somehow semi-convinced her that she is being unreasonable!

Reddit users soon put the frustrated mum straight labelling the husband lazy, selfish, entitled and controlling amongst other things!

NTA if you are doing bathtime straight after, of course he can use any bathroom he wants but basic courtesy when you live with other people is not to poop where they will hear and smell it if there’s another option. Assuming both other toilets are fully functional and clean etc then I don’t see why he wouldn’t just use one of these. What kind of man wants to bath his kids in a room where he just taken a shit if there’s another option? Sounds like a weird kind of control or wanting to mark his territory to me. (MyNewBearTotoro)

Agreed – its a power play. Pooping in a different bathroom is a small thing that he can do to make bath time easier & more pleasant for his kids & wife. He refuses to do that. Why? What good reason is there for being stubborn about this? He is exerting control – that’s it. (Miserable_Arm-6797)

Honestly, what reasonable person wouldn’t change their behavior after being talked to about this once? Like what adult wouldn’t be mortified at having to be politely asked to stop blowing up the bathroom right before bathtime? Unless there’s something wildly wrong with both other bathrooms that OP hasn’t mentioned, this has to be deliberate. (vellichorale)

NTA! My husband also tends to go after dinner which is right before my toddler’s bath time starts and he always jokes with me that he’s going to go do it in there and stink up that bathroom but then he always just goes and uses the upstairs one… like a courteous person would.

It’s like your husband is being difficult on purpose by doing this to you. (moonlightmantra)

Many people suggested that OP hand over the bathtime duties to her husband, if he thinks there is nothing wrong with his anti-social behaviour. But, that really doesn’t solve the situation because the poor kids would still be unfairly subjected to the bathroom that smells like the Bog of Eternal Stench! So what other options does she have?

One commenter suggested putting a lock on the door so that he can’t use it, whilst another suggested trying to shame him into compliance by telling guests what he does and seeing his reaction.

NTA. And next time you have friends over make sure the kids regale all your guests about him taking a shit in the bathroom they have to have a bath in afterwards every single night. And refusing to use the other bathroom so they don’t have to smell it while they get ready for bed. Make sure all the guests hear it and the kids are really detailed.

I think a few of these commenters forget what little kids are like. My ex had gastric problems and used the main bathroom twice before bath time instead of the other one. The kids were crying and carrying on because it smelt so bad. Completely fucked up the bedtime routine. When he did it the second time I left the house and told him to call me when they were in bed. He used the other bathroom after that.

It’s not about control or anything like that . It’s about creating a situation that causes problems and refusing to use an easy fix to make things better for everyone. It’s a family, you all have responsibilities to each other. (Huge)_Primary392)

It’s ridiculous that she should have to do anything more than politely ask him once though, right?

What would you do in this mum’s position? Is this a hill you’d be prepared to die on?