If you have a strained relationship with your own mother-in-law, this woman’s predicament will probably leave you feeling like yours is a saint in comparison! At far as ‘bat-shit-crazy-things-that-people-do’ goes – this one has to be up there with the absolute best (or should that be worst) of them!

My husband and I are expecting our first child. We moved to be closer to his family. I’m no contact with mine.

My mother in law has been referring to the baby as “her” baby this entire time. She will say things like “I can’t wait for my baby to be born.” “My baby is going to be so loved.” This rubs me the wrong way for reasons I cannot explain, but my husband tells me to ignore her.

My MIL wanted to throw me a baby shower and invite her friends. She said they made an agreement a long time ago that they would celebrate each other’s kids’ weddings and births. My husband and I eloped and declined a reception for her friends since we don’t know them. My MIL told me that I owed it to her to let her throw the baby shower since I hurt her friends’ feelings by not having wedding reception. I asked if I could invite my friends, and she said no, that this was for her friends, and that if my friends wanted to throw me a shower they could. I reluctantly agreed.

My husband and I spent hours on our registry, and my MIL asked for it so she could share with her friends. She said she forwarded the registry on. She asked me what design I wanted on my cake and cookies. I told her flowers because I am decorating the nursery in a garden theme.

At the shower they provided me with a “mother to be” sash and my MIL a “granny to be” sash to wear. I noticed that the theme of the shower was circus animals. The cake had an elephant and balloons on it, and the cookies were animals. At first I thought that maybe the floral theme was just too difficult, so I rolled with it until it was time to open presents.

Every present was some sort of circus animal. Onesies, blankets, toys – nothing on my registry. I was a little confused and even went so far to check my registry to make sure I hadn’t goofed up and changed everything. I thanked everyone for their gifts and tried to sound as gracious as possible, but I was so confused.

My husband, who is a little less tactful than I am, showed up at the end of the shower and noticed the theme right away. He goes “what’s up with all the circus animals?” He looks at the presents and says, “This isn’t what we asked for.” Then he looked at his mom and goes “MOM. What did you do?”

She smiled and said, “I didn’t like the theme you chose for my baby. I’m going to decorate my baby’s nursery at my house with circus animals, so I created a registry for myself.” My husband said, “YOU DID WHAT?” She says, “My baby is going to need a room at my house so I threw a shower for myself.”

I lost my composure and told her that she would not see MY baby and to stop calling the baby hers, and my husband told his mom that she’s delusional if she thinks we’re going to allow this. She started crying and said we are just withholding her baby from her.

We’ve been getting texts from his family since the shower, calling us selfish and ungrateful and saying we ruined her joy of being a grandma.

Are we the AH?

Can you believe she totally changed the theme and the registry gifts to something she liked instead? Who does that?

Of course, nobody in the comments section thought that the mum-to-be was an arsehole for one minute, and were aghast at the older woman’s behaviour.

YIKES, NTA!!!!

I’d get it if she said “my grand baby” or something to indicate that she wasn’t the primary provider of that child. It’s almost like she’s treating you as a surrogate for “her baby”. (ColGkenny)

Yikes

NTA

This woman obviously has control issues. This is some pretty wild behaviour. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her being around my kids for extended periods or alone. (BulbasaurRanch)

Unlike so many of the stories we hear about errant mother-in-law’s making the lives of their son’s wives a misery, it was refreshing to see that this woman’s husband actually has his wife’s back.

NTA

I loved the part where your husband immediately understands what’s going on – “Mom, what did you do?”

He knows who she is.

She has Main Character Syndrome. (NotTrynaMakeWaves)

Many agreed that it was in everyone’s best interest to spend as little time as possible with such a toxic person.

NTA

The best thing to have in life is peace, and your MIL has already proven that one thing you won’t have around her is peace. She is completely unbalanced and very manipulative, people like her are capable of absurd things just to satisfy their desires, the best decision is to stay away from her. (Over-Butterscotch-14)

Other people were concerned that the bizarre behavior could develop into something more sinister, and advised the couple to take further steps to protect their baby from her grandmother.

NTA

This is very disturbing behavior..deranged in fact.

If you & your husband ever do relent & let her glimpse the baby, I know you will never let him or her out of your sight & that nursery will NEVER be used.

I’m not usually alarmist, but please ensure you have security cameras installed in and around your home. Also that MIL has no keys. Change the locks if need be.

Congratulations to you & your husband on your baby, hope all goes well. (Apart-Ad-6518)

NTA make sure if she has keys to your home locks are changed. Make sure you invest in security cameras.

Let the hospital know your mil is to be no where near your baby. Let them no you and your husband are the only two that fill out any paper works.

Honestly no contact from the start that away she has no grandparents visitation case. Document every creepy thing she does.

Call your dr and tell your pediatrician at the time to pass word protect your medical information.

Your mil is unhinged and this has hands that rock the cradle vibes. (Wonderful-Set6647)

What do you think? How would you handle a mother-in-law like this?