One Day I Woke Up and Realised I Was Invisible!
By Anna Waters-Massey
What the hell happened? One day I woke up and discovered that I had hit that age, that roughly coincides with peri menopause, the age of invisibility. It can happen as early as 40, but generally is well established by 45, and by 50, abandon all hope because you are well and truly covered by the cloak of invisibility. Let’s call this invisible woman ‘Trish.’
It suddenly dawned on me that my demographic, the ‘Trishes,’ have all but disappeared from society. Once I noticed it, I couldn’t stop noticing it. I was confident and competent and Mumming superbly, when suddenly I wasn’t. I seemed to have become invisible. It’s a strange thing that when you become invisible, all your confidence disappears, you start doubting yourself and questioning your value. Your kids need you less, in fact they are often down right mortified by your actions and sometimes even your presence.
I rarely see ‘Trish’ on my TV screen, TV commercials or the news desk. All the lead roles are filled with women younger than me, all the Mums on commercials are in their 30’s. By comparison, the male anchor on the news desk is in his 60’s, full of gravitas alongside his 30 something female co-anchor. Sigh… And there’s the strange thing – males of every age are still seen everywhere. On TV and film they are the judges, the surgeons, the detectives, the masterminds, the James Bond type heroes. Society deems them men of character, who become more distinguished, credible and knowledgeable as they age. Not so for ‘Trish.’ It’s like society has a secret agreement to make women my age disappear. ‘Trish’ stands in queues at bars and is overlooked as younger patrons are served. ‘Trish’ is ignored in stores. Shops ‘Trish’ used to frequent, no longer stock clothes for her. ‘Trish’ is overlooked in her workplace while men her age are promoted. The sad truth is our society doesn’t value older women.
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I have been ignored in shops, my comments have been met with blank looks, I’ve been dismissed in conversations as though whatever I have to say is irrelevant. When we were having new flooring put into our house, having done all the research, I was asking all the questions, but the salesman was directing all the answers to my husband. It’s a bizarre feeling when previously your words have held power, and your very presence has demanded attention.
Is it any wonder so many women are constantly chasing youth when society, the internet, film and TV are telling us they can’t see us now that we are older. It makes me so sad to see young girls in their late teens and 20’s getting preventative cosmetic procedures done before they even have a laugh line. No wonder, when they are being shown constantly that youth is the goal and aging is to be avoided at all costs. Here’s a few eyebrow raising statistics: Aussies aged 35-50 get the most cosmetic procedures and 90% of cosmetic surgeries in Australia are performed on women.
Something needs to change, because us women, the ‘Trishes,’ who make up nearly half of the female population, aren’t going anywhere, in fact we are living longer. ‘Trish’ needs to be seen and heard in society, she needs to be portrayed on TV screens and represented in our media. ‘Trish’ is relevant, she is vibrant, she is skilled, she is a nurturer, she has wisdom and life experience, she knows when to call bullshit. ‘Trish’ is frikkin awesome!
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The Invisibility Song
Parody of the Janis Joplin hit ‘Mercedes Benz’
Oh Lord you forgot to warn me about invisibility
It just sneaked up and engulfed me in my mid to late 40s
I was confident and competent and Mumming superbly
When suddenly I wasn’t, plus I couldn’t hold my pee
And Lord what’s this multi symptomed menopausal catastrophe
With bloating, flushing, itching, anger and anxiety
brain fog and achy limbs, mood swings, malfunctioning memory
Oh Lord when you made the female you must have really been cranky
Now Lord one thing you didn’t factor is a woman’s capacity
To rise above what’s thrown at her and conquer adversity
I’m strong, I am invincible and oh so womanly
I’ve reached the age where I give out zero f#*ks frequently
Oh Lord I’m a woman in her prime living my life magnificently
I’ll dress and live any way I want so don’t you f*#k with me
You can follow me on my socials for more of my song parodies.
Anna Waters-Massey is a writer, actor and vocalist from the Gold Coast. She loves entertaining people and making them smile with her writing, song parodies and acting work. She is the creator of the comedy series Stage Mums which aired on Network Ten and animated series Insta Infamous and Forest Road.
