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People Are Sharing the Moment They Realised They’d Married an Idiot and Its Hilarious!

The thing about marriage is, after so many years together and sharing everything, your spouse get to see you warts and all. And, unfortunately, that includes when you have a brain fart moment and do or say something stupid! You know, the kind of thing you can never live down no matter how ‘smart’ you are really!

We are loving this Reddit thread where people share the moment they realised they’d married an idiot. We ‘ve compiled some of the funniest ones for your reading pleasure.

She thinks that north is always uphill, so prefers to walk south. (TwoBadRobots)

My partner was grunting and groaning at the bin. He said ‘we need new bin bags, these ones you’ve bought don’t bloody fit’. Went over to see what was going on and he had a roll of small black dog poo bags in his hand with one unfurled trying to work out why it wouldn’t fit in the bin. There were bin bags, he’d just picked up the wrong roll and instead of realising, tried to get a dog poo bag in a bin 50 times bigger. (Pinapickle)

My now ex-husband legitimately thought that having a hysterectomy meant that your vagina was removed. I learned this when he asked me how women who had a hysterectomy were able to pee. Further discussion led to the realization that he thought that a hysterectomy resulted in a nice smooth Barbie-like bump down there. (bestexeva)

While we were moving my Ex-wife asked me who we needed to contact to change our email address… (smallboxofcrayons)

 

My husband was feeling unwell and began googling his symptoms. After a while of silence, he suddenly turns to me in a panic and says “I think I have pre-eclampsia!” (snow-ninja)

One day I was making butter chicken curry (which my ex loved) and in the middle of cooking realized I was out of yogurt. Send him to the store to get some.

He came back with blueberry flavored….. (FourCatsAnd Counting)

My husband thought people whistled when they set off fireworks. He didn’t realize the fireworks themselves whistles. Though that was one of his more harmless stupidities. (Tinyfishy)

When he thought aggravated assault wasn’t that bad because he thought it meant the other person aggravated you to the point you assaulted. 🤦‍♀️ (smkydz)

I bought fresh broccoli and my husband asked why I got such one huge broccoli and not the normal smaller ones. He thought broccoli naturally comes in bite-sized florets. (greenash4)

On a camping trip. She was worried about parking the car on the grass because she thought the grass was going to grow, puncturing and flattening the tires. (Shawnaldo7575)

 

My wife was commenting on a man who we knew dated a lot of women. One day we saw him with his kid.

She said, “I bet he doesn’t even know who the mother is.” (CuriouslyFlavored)

My husband was convinced that bees and wasps are THE SAME THING, just at different times of the year. He thought bees grew up into wasps during the summer…

I love him, but…

HOW (JobRich7841)

He was making noodles and put in the seasoning packet but didn’t mix it in. He then complained that the noodle brand was rubbish because the noodles only had flavour on one part. 🤦🏻‍♀️ (SoggySpaceHotdog)

Took our dog to get spayed (after having puppies) and he got upset that the veterinarian put in the chart she was post-partum. He thought they meant the dog was depressed. (Ok-Cause-3710)

When I mentioned I was on my period, he asked what my favorite flavor of tampons are. He genuinely thought the colors on the tampon packs were flavors, and that it would soak into my blood while inside and I’d eventually taste it.

I’m desperate to know the source of this information. (xyour_cutiepiez)

On our first road trip, I asked my girlfriend (now wife) to take over driving for a bit. She got in the driver’s seat, paused, and said “Don’t be alarmed… but can you remind me which one is the gas and which one is the brake?”

Switched right back and drove there myself. (nowackjack)

We were getting ready to move and we’re going through each room, discussing whether to take or get rid of the furniture. In the bedroom, I remarked that I would like to get new bedside lamps. The ones we had were from his bachelor apartment over a decade ago.

He said, “I can see why you’d like new lamps, but it’s kind of amazing that the light bulbs have lasted ten years.”

Dear gentle reader, the light bulbs had not lasted that long. He just was never the one to change them. (Federal-Librarian)

 

During COVID lockdown, we were watching Borat 2. My wife scoffs and says, “Man, how many dumb Americans do you think watch this movie and think Kazakhstan is a real country?” I died. (Ohtarello)

He was taking once-a-day vitamins three times per day because they say on the bottle to take them with a meal, and he eats three meals a day. (Majestic-Nobody545)

She thought there are mannequins and mannekings. (Ratez)

Caught my partner trying to “warm up” the gas stove before lighting it. And by “warm up”, I mean she was letting the gas run for a bit before attempting to light it..

To her credit, she was mortified when I explained the problem with her plan – but it was pretty shocking. (tofu_golem)

Has your partner ever said something so stupid you won’t let them ever forget it?

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Jolene

Jolene

Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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