People Share the Modern Parenting Trends They Think We’ll All Regret in Years to Come
Kids don’t come with a manual, and in the age of smartphones, social media and constantly shifting advice, it can feel especially hard to know if we’re getting it right. What’s considered ‘normal’ today may look very different in hindsight, and many parents admit they’re already questioning some of the habits we’ve collectively adopted. Here, parents and educators share modern parenting trends they worry we may one day regret.
Oversharing Online
For many of us, sharing moments from family life online feels natural and even joyful. But some worry that children are growing up with a digital footprint they didn’t choose, raising questions about privacy, consent and where the line should be drawn.
“Putting them all over the internet when they are children- they have no privacy. I saw one woman post on TikTok about her daughter starting her periods- she did a whole ‘menstruation journey’ thing. Completely out of line.” (Haunting_Yesterday_77)
“While I think it’s even better to not post them at all, I’ve heard the “living room mantle” rule about sharing online about your kids. Don’t share anything you wouldn’t frame and put up on the living room mantle – aka vague, posed, and positive – or else it’s totally inappropriate. I feel so awful for kids whose parents are sharing their private moments or struggles online, or pictures that are overtly meant to be embarrassing or vulnerable.” (questionsaboutrel521)
Being On Phones Too Often
Most parents agree that being present matters, but staying present is harder than ever. With phones always within reach, many parents are reflecting on how often screens pull attention away from the small, everyday moments.
“Parents being on our phones instead of being present with our children. I count myself as guilty here… I try to be present with my daughter, but I have to admit that I often fail. I didn’t think it would be this hard to focus on her, but when I’m tired and burned out, it feels almost impossible. I get tired, and then my phone is back in my hand as she plays nearby, and I eventually look up from it to notice she has stopped playing and been staring at me or waving at me for a little while… Come on, that can’t be good for a kid, to be ignored in favour of some shit that doesn’t matter but is entertaining. I’m really worried about what effect this will have on her. I’m working on it, at least, but I think a lot of modern parents have this problem.” (fandomnightmare)
“This is it. I don’t think kids need our attention 24/7 but seeing every single adult with their eyes on a screen everywhere they go is so messed up. And then we’ll wonder why they aren’t polite or act out to get any attention at all.
Sometimes I try to put my phone down in public but then I look around and everyone else is glued to theirs and it feels really lonely. Our kids must feel like that too. (jamjams2016)
I’m with you here! I need to be a better example because one day when they have their own phone they will have learned bad behaviours from me. But the end of the day when I’m exhausted, it’s so hard! I try to remind myself to just lose my phone in another room for at least a portion of my day with them. I also try to remember to tell them what I’m doing if I’m using my phone for something productive “I’m planning our food for the week and making a grocery list, I can play with you in a little bit”. But honestly any other parents out there with tips I’d welcome! It’s definitely a modern parenting problem.” (Brandanaquits)
The Overuse of Screens
Screens can be incredibly helpful tools, especially when juggling busy lives. At the same time, some parents are uneasy about how often devices are used to manage boredom, behaviour, or public outings—and what that might mean long-term.
“Giving your child a screen when doing errands or social activities ie phones in prams when doing grocery shopping or when eating out at restaurants or cafes. Of course it makes the task/activity easier BUT we’ll have a bunch of kids who have no idea how to socialise during normal activities or deal with boredom which is a normal part of life.” (JayEdie)
“Not really parenting them and instead relying on technology as an electronic babysitter. The amount of parents who seem to just hand their kids a phone/tablet whenever they get bored is downright depressing, and it’s gonna lead to some really socially stunted adults down the line.” (cheat-master30)
Making Them the Centre of the Universe
Modern parenting often emphasises putting children first, but where is the balance? Some parents are questioning whether constantly centring children’s needs and schedules leaves enough room for adult relationships, resilience, and real world disappointment.
“The “kids always come first” mentality. Sure, we have to prioritize their safety, health (emotional and physical) and wellbeing, but we also have to teach them to be considerate of other people. They also have to learn how to deal with feelings like disappointment, because fact is, one day they will be adults out in the real world and them thinking that the world revolves around them will serve as a huge slap in the face.
Of course, I don’t mean going out of your way just to disappoint and prove a point, or neglect your kids. But if your friend or a family member had to put their pet down on a short notice and are grieving, it’s okay to visit them today and go to the park or movies tomorrow.”(cedrella_black)
“Even just things when it comes to parents doing things that don’t revolve around their kids— things that are more fun/sanity saving for the adults than the kids. I’m not saying that parents should be taking Their kids out to bars or whatever. But more things like, “nope we are not going to the zoo, then the playground, then a birthday party today. We are going to go for a walk, have a lunch that we all like, and then we can go to the birthday party.“ and I know a shocking number of people that co sleep with their kids for years and years, to the point where they put off having a second child because of it because they cannot figure out how to get their three to five-year-old to sleep in their own room. On top of which, it is intensely stressful for their marriages because it means they get basically no alone time with their spouses since mom is going to bed with the toddler at 7 PM, as well as for all naps during the day.
I think extended co-sleeping can work and even be a good thing under some circumstances and if done in a certain way, but I’ve heard of way too many people doing it as, “Mom goes to bed with the toddler at 7 PM, as well as for all naps. Mom and dad basically never see each other alone for literalyears.” Like, of course the kid wants to sleep with Mom, but at a certain point, the health of the rest of the family does need to become a priority.” (torchwood1842)
“I feel like one part of this, that I’ve noticed at least, is that Millennials turn every thing their kids do into a huge (often Instagrammable) event. Every birthday is over the top, graduation parties for every grade, both parents attending everything all the time. Every play date my daughter has had has involved both of the other parents coming over too. To call it overkill puts it mildly, it’s almost the opposite of negligence but still negative.” (Arrakeensun)
Being Their Friend Rather Than their Parent
There’s a growing focus on emotional connection and gentle approaches to discipline, but not everyone feels the balance is right. Teachers and parents alike are debating whether boundaries and authority are being sacrificed in the effort to be liked.
“I’m a teacher at a middle school. Without a doubt, it’s this: parents aren’t focused on being actual parents. They are more focused on being their friend than someone implementing boundaries and enforcing expectations.” (Amazing_Repeat_3466)
“Gentle parenting is Bad. Not All Bad, but the pendulum has swung too far. Kids need to learn that people can love AND set boundaries. Kids need to learn that their conduct affects their loved one’s feelings. I’m terrified that the generation of gentle parented kids are going to be narcissists.” (confettipolson)
“They never tell you this before you have kids, but news flash, there will be times when you are not popular with your children! Make sure it’s not 99% of the time because that means you are doing something wrong, but to be hated 5% to 10% of your days with them is NORMAL.” (TroubledTimesBesetUs)
Over Protectiveness
Safety is a top priority for every parent, but some worry that constant monitoring and control may do more harm than good. These parents reflect on the fine line between protecting children and preventing them from learning independence.
“It seems parents are one of two extremes, either COMPLETELY laissez-faire, as in they’re so involved in their own lives and drama, that their kids run like feral animals or the other extreme where they are helicopter parents to the extreme and have to know where their kid is, who their kid is with and what they’re doing every single minute of every single day (Life360 parents, I’m talkin’ to you). NEITHER is good nor healthy. There really needs to be a happy medium here!
I try to be in the middle with my kids. With freedom, you learn responsibility. Also, it’s easier to recover from mistakes and missteps when you’re a teen than when you’re an adult. You have to let kids make them sometimes as you stand by and watch.” (LovelyLilac73)
“I have a friend who was overprotective and controlling with decisions. Now one of her adult children cannot make decisions and gets severe anxiety attacks when confronted with anything out of line in context with partners/friends/choices that need made. It’s super sad to watch.” (bengalfan)
“Helicoptering. Let your kids go. Let them run. Let them play. Let them explore. Let them ride home with their friends. Let them make their own choices and get hurt, heartbroken, embarrassed.” (Diligent_Safe1286)
Looking back, every generation of parents can point to things they’d do differently. Some of today’s trends may fade away, while others might quietly shape how out children grow up and see the world. Taken together, these perspectives make you stop and think. What habits feel right now, and what might look different in hindsight? Do any of these hit home for you, or is there a modern parenting trend you’d add to the list?
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