Ah, the terrible twos! I used to laugh at people when they’d mention it, but deep down, I was also terrified. Even though I didn’t really know what to expect. If you’ve been through it, you know it’s not just a phase—it’s a full-on human transformation, going from toddler to small child. My daughter just hit this milestone, and let me tell you, it’s like flicking a switch—straight to “tiny tyrant mode.” One minute, my daughter is playing with her Barbies, and the next, she’s launching her toy broomstick at me like I’ve wronged her in some way.

So, why the “terrible twos?” As much as the name sounds like it’s straight out of a horror movie, this stage is actually very important for a child’s emotional and cognitive growth.

Linda Rodgers from What to Expect says it’s the time when kids throw tantrums, have the craziest of mood swings, and start other erratic behaviour such as biting or hitting. They also want their independence and they want it NOW.

Essentially the switch flips, and suddenly you have a mini tornado on your hands!

Psychologist Jean Piaget, known for his studies on child development, says this is the ‘preoperational stage.’ In easy-to-understand terms: Your kid is learning a tonne about the world, but they haven’t quite figured out how to make sense of it all just yet.

Here’s what’s going on in that little brain:

1. Egocentrism– Your child is basically the centre of the universe. So when they shout, “I WANT THIS CUP NOW!” they’re not considering that maybe—just maybe—you might want your cup too. It’s all ‘ME!’ at this stage.
2. Centration– Kids can focus on just one thing, and one thing only. Like, pour juice into a tall, skinny glass, and they’ll lose their minds, thinking it’s a magical cup that has more juice in it. Never mind that it’s the same amount of juice—it’s taller, so it’s obviously more.
3. Conservation– If you squish a cookie into a weird shape, they’ll act like you’ve created a whole new cookie. They just can’t understand that the amount stays the same, even if it looks different. So don’t even think about trying to tell them a flattened cookie is still the same as a round one.
4. Symbolic Representation– This is when a stick becomes a sword and a cardboard box is suddenly a spaceship. They’re learning that things can stand for something else.
5. Pretend Play– They are basically living in an endless improv show, and they’re the star. One minute, your child is a superhero saving the world, and the next, they are barking like a dog.
6. Irreversibility– If a tower of blocks falls down, it’s like the universe has collapsed! They can’t yet understand that things can go backward or be rebuilt. Nope, once it’s down, it’s gone forever.

So yeah, the terrible twos is a wild ride for parents. It pushes your patience to its absolute limits. The tantrums, the defiance, the emotional rollercoasters—it’s all part of the process of them learning independence, emotional intelligence, and how to navigate the world. And while it’s tough (and let’s be honest, sometimes you feel like you’re losing your mind!) it’s a crucial stage for helping your little one grow into a fantastic little human. Just take a deep breath. They’ll survive. You will too.

Probably.

Bianca is a content writer and all round multi tasker, often trying to fit a million things into a day. When she is not chasing after her highly energetic toddler, she is planning her next travel adventure! A lover of coffee, pilates and wine, she enjoys a laugh and making the most of life.