The Fun Stopper
As we grow older, it becomes obvious that we are taught to bury many of our natural reactions, such as our inner sensitivity, and desire to play and pay attention to the subtle cues of something that captures our curiosity.
So, what stops us from playing as adults? Are we too busy, serious, or preoccupied with our to-do lists? It might be one, or all three, but something is holding us back. Firstly, we are biologically wired to lean into our playful sides, but either don’t make time, we aren’t sure how or it’s just in little spurts with no consistency. Our lives are a constant stream of lists, notifications, and reminders—ping, ping, ping. The world’s problems are brought to us regularly and instantaneously via our devices, which makes us anxious and compelled to energetically take on these mass-scale problems.
As adults, we tend to give up on ourselves and often put the needs of others and our responsibilities first. “I just don’t have the time”, “I’m too old to do that, I should have done it when I was younger”, or you look to someone else thinking, I wish I could do what they’re doing. We gaslight ourselves into thinking that we aren’t worthy of our own time.
Think of a dog on a walk with its owner – “Heal Bingo, stop that”, “No Bingo NO!!” Little Bingo, who isn’t controlled by his egoic mind, pulls to sniff at something and the lead is pulled back. Fun stopper, right? Poor Bingo only wants to play and explore, but his owner has things to do and places to be.
The instant you step out of your mind’s hiding place and dare to do something a little different, your commitment is tested. The brain hates uncertainty, and it doesn’t like what it can’t compartmentalise immediately. This over-critical and unhelpful part of us is what stands in the way of allowing ourselves to engage in something so natural as play.
That pesty side will torment you if you let it, and no amount of internal yelling will make it go away. It’s infuriatingly faithful and will always show up uninvited; you can count on it being louder when you’re feeling down and unworthy. It’s confusing because the rubbish that it feeds you is in your voice, so you think it is your responsible self who is talking. This is where it trips us up, puts us on a leash and in a fear-based mindset because we are easier to control that way. Just picture poor Bingo wanting to enjoy himself whilst on his daily walk.
Also, a quick note on perfection: we are taught that we need to be good at something to do it, this way of thinking ruins everything and robs the fun out of something great. The person who loses out is inevitably you.
Many of us live in our heads and most aren’t bothered by what others are doing anyway. As the saying goes, if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.
Everyone has the chance to be young, but not everyone is awarded the gift of growing old and the closer we get to a childlike state of free self-expression as adults – the better we will feel. Follow your impulses and lean into being spontaneous without judging yourself. You’ll get a visceral reaction that will perk you up, maybe even excite you. That’s how you’ll know you’ve found something that is a fit for you to let off some steam and simply just enjoy it.
