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“My Brother Bought My Wife a $3000 Diamond Necklace for Her Birthday, and I’m Not Comfortable with It!”

One man is wondering if he’s wrong to feel uncomfortable about the extravagant gift his brother recently bought his wife.

I (27M) have been married to my wife (26F) for a little over a year. Last week it was my wife’s birthday and she received a 3000 dollars diamonds necklace from my brother (30M). I was pretty weirded out by this as even tho my brother is far from poor, he’s not the type to gift anyone thousands of dollars gifts and he especially never gave my wife something as expensive as this. My wife shrugged it off as it was nothing and my brother was just feeling generous.

Here’s where I might be the AH: I still felt uneasy about the gift and so I ended up bringing it up to my brother’s wife (30F) and she lost it on him. Apparently, she never agreed to my brother gifting another woman such an expensive gift. Now both my brother and my wife are mad at me. My brother for creating problems in his marriage and my wife who thinks I only blabbed about my brother’s gift for her to my SIL just cause I’m insecure my own birthday gift for her wasn’t as expensive (I paid for a full spa day for her, which she really liked, but it indeed wasn’t as expensive as my brother’s necklace) and who also thinks that SIL is overreacting as she herself received a lot of expensive jewellery from my brother.


Boy did the people have opinions on this one! Everyone agreed that it was an inappropriate gift for another’s mans wife.

Nah bro there is no situation where’s it’s not weird for your brother to gift your wife expensive jewellery like that, NTA (Silver-Attorney6403)



As you’ve stated that’s odd behaviour from him and the only reason he’s angry is because his wife is pissed at him because she smells a rat too

It’s a little odd that your wife hasn’t been atleast a little confused over it too… (Regular_throwaway_83)


Are you sure it’s a real diamond necklace? I can’t imagine any situation where this would be appropriate unless your wife and brother are involved in a romantic way.

Also, you did not cause marital problems between your brother and SIL. He did that when he decided to splurge on a woman who is not his wife and did not bother consulting his wife on such a large purchase.

Something is fishy. (Stripykitty)


The general assumption in the comments section was that the man’s wife and his brother were having an affair.

NTA. Let’s break it down. Your brother and your wife are dancing horizontally.

They think you’re too dumb to notice, and as a private joke between them he gave her an expensive necklace in front of you. They thought they would be able to get away with being blatant about their relationship.

You stuffed things up by contacting the SIL, who has a few dozen more IQ points than your good self and recognizes horizontal dancing when she sees it.

That’s what this is about. (CertainCertainties)


If MY OWN husband got me that I’d want him to return it. A 3k necklace?! In this economy? They’re 100% having an affair or they eat with disposable diamond paper towels and wipe their butts with fine China. Since I’m guessing they aren’t THAT kinda rich, affair or brother having a creepy crush on his wife are the only two real options I see here….

But from wife’s non-reaction, I’d bet money on affair…. (StressfulZebra2478)

For almost every commenter the expensive gift signalled a very large red flag from the pair.


As others have stated, I’d look into your wife’s activities. A $3k necklace for someone you’ve been married to for a year? Little suspicious. The fact that she wrote off the SIL receiving similar gifts from her husband is also odd. Your wife must realize that she and the SIL are in a different class when it comes to importance for your brother, unless she doesn’t because she is cheating. (dreadknot65)


Definitely Red flag, might check to see if your wife is receiving pearl necklaces from your brother on the side. Man $3K is lot of money to spend on someone else’s wife period. (Sray1701)

Since everybody here already analyzed the crap out of this I’m going to make it simple. Your brother is smashing your wife.

Ex: The room is on fire and two people in the room are saying “hey it’s not that bad.” While everybody else is yelling “oh my God the room’s on fire” and running out of the room. It means those two people set the fire and are not a surprise bc they wanted the room on fire. (ProtoPrimeX1)

Every time she wears that she will think of him and so will you. Call it quits. (Thamheavies)

One person questioned whether there was a history of competitiveness between the men, and asked whether the man who bought the expensive gift for his sister-in-law was simply trying to out-do his brother.

NTA – you don’t upstage a husband by giving his wife a 3k necklace … that’s odd behavior, and I would be rather suspicious about it, especially since BIL lied to his own wife about the gift.

ETA: A lot of people are sure there is cheating going on, and that’s not an unreasonable guess, but OP, does your brother have a history of just upstaging you in general? Maybe he has a crush on your wife and he wanted to show off, and he just doesn’t care that it was a dick move? Either way, your brother should have never done this, especially not without speaking to you about it first. (neoncactusfields)

What do you think? Was it an innocent and thoughtful gift for a family member, or evidence of an affair?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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