12 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Quite Funny!

Dads have a (somewhat deserved) reputation for rolling out the lame one-liners and jokes so bad that you can’t help but laugh…but mostly out of pity. Bless him for trying! But every now and again Dad will come out with some gems – you know the ones? Even though they still fall within the ‘dad crap joke’ category, they’re the kind of jokes that never fail to make you smile when you hear them…even when he trots the same one out over and over again!

This week on Reddit, people have been sharing some of their very best, bad dad jokes, and, (dare we say it), some are actually quite funny! On the bright side, even if you don’t crack a smile or a giggle, at least your eyeballs will get a good workout from all the eye-rolling you’re about to do!

Dads’ Not So Crap Dad Jokes

When someone’s doing a crossword (particularly fun on strangers) – I always have to say seven up is lemonade – served with a nod and a point. It’s the joy of watching them look through the clues… pausing … then looking back at you as they realise. (Hot_Ratio_8439)

Anytime we’re driving and I see a bunch of cows I always say: Look a flock of cows!

One of the kids: herd of cows dad

Me: course I’ve heard of them, there’s a flock of them right over there! (Zakish79)

My favourite by far is this:

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail, and with his odd diet he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. (MrBeldin)

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”

“No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and Tom Cruise shouts,

“Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”

Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.

“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.

“Yup,” Dave says, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington,” and off they go.

At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a beer first and catch up.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.

“Pope Francis,” his boss replies.

“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.

Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.

Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.

Making his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him, “What happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “It was the final straw… you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who is that on the balcony with Dave?’ (dancarbone1100)

Did you know that the Bruno Mars song “Uptown Funk” is actually about body odor?

Don’t believe me? Just wash. (ZombieQueen666)

When we pass a cemetery I say “Did you know that nobody living in this town is allowed to be buried here?” It peaks interest and they ask why. Respond with “Yeah, they have to be dead first.” (Bishib)