Viral Thread Explains Why We Need to Let Our Children Do Things on Their Own

There’s a saying that as parents, our job is to raise adults, not children.

As our little ones leave their childhood behind and start their first steps towards their own independence, they will need all the adulting skills tucked away in their memory banks, ready to spread their wings and fly, knowing that the adults in their lives believe in them.

As parents we are all too keen to do everything for them, to clear the path in front of them and do as much for them as we can. We want to make their childhoods as easy and as fun as possible, right?

But our keenness to just get it all done ourselves or gloss over their seemingly-little achievements may unintentionally deprive them of learning important lessons in confidence, as this viral post explains.

A daycare worker named Amanda posted a thoughtful thread earlier this week, demonstrating some examples of the ways our kids are impacted by our words and behaviours — both good and bad.

I think one of the most important things I’ve learned about working in childcare is to remember that children are always watching you (even when you don’t think they are) … A thread

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

You spend 40+ hours with these children a week. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week these children are at daycare with you. They pick up quickly on your quirky behaviours, your funny slang, your bad habits, etc. They look up to you as a role model. They seek comfort in you.

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

So when a child worked really hard to put their coat on all by themselves and you’re too busy to notice so you just say “good job” and don’t acknowledge the fact they worked really hard and persisted to get the coat on all by themselves, it lessens their confidence in themselves.

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

Or when a child is wanting to help you spray the table with soapy water and clean it before snack or lunch times but you say no because it’s faster if you do it, they lose their sense of independence. They feel sad because their help was offered and denied.

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

We want to build strong, independent children! Our youth should feel like they are valued. They should feel accepted. They should feel safe. They should feel loved. They should feel important. We need to view them as bright and capable individuals in all areas of life.

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

So when one of your toddlers asks to help clean the table, let them! When one of your preschoolers puts on their shoes by themselves (even though they’re on the wrong feet), praise them! When a school age child is overwhelmed with emotion, tell them you understand how it feels!

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

These children are going to be running our world someday. They’re going to be the ones working in our nursing homes, hospitals, schools, banks, etc. Let’s raise children that we can be proud of! You get what you give. Be patient. Be kind. Be understanding.

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

We don’t know what goes on in children’s personal lives at home. We don’t see what goes on behind closed doors. The child that steals food from another child’s plate might not be fed enough at home. The child that swears at us might see abuse firsthand at home.

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

All we can do is be our best selves everyday at work and offer them a positive learning environment where they feel safe and loved. Give hugs, offer a helping hand, ask children how they feel, give positive feedback, redirect negative behaviours so they can become positive ones.

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

Working in childcare is not an easy job. It requires lots of patience. There are some days when you go home feeling defeated and you break down in tears. But there are also days where something amazing happens and you’re reminded of why you got into the field in the first place.

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

The good always outweighs the bad. Smile. Laugh. Appreciate every minute of each day. As an early childhood educator who has been in the field for 2 years now, I feel blessed to be able to teach the young children in our community and to play a key role in their development. ?

— amanda (@amanda_c_rae) October 3, 2018

Food for thought, indeed!

As much as we always try to do our very best, sometimes it’s worthwhile having a gentle reminder of why we do the things we do.

Source: Twitter/Amanda C. Rae