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“I Won’t Tell My MIL When Her Grandson Is Born, She Doesn’t Deserve to Know!”

“I Won’t Tell My MIL When Her Grandson Is Born, She Doesn’t Deserve to Know!”

A mum-to-be contemplates keeping the birth of her son a secret from overbearing mother in law!

Taking to popular advice forum REDDIT to seek validation for her decision to keep the birth of her son a secret from her overbearing mother-in-law, the woman explains her situation. She says her and her husband have been together for ten years and had been trying to conceive for over six, so the news of their pregnancy brought immense joy. However, their happiness was overshadowed by the mother-in-law’s intrusive actions.

The trouble began when the couple made the early pregnancy announcement to their family and close friends. Excited to share the news personally after their 12-week scan, they were surprised to find that the mother-in-law had already posted about being a grandmother again on social media. This pattern continued at the gender reveal, where she stole the couple’s thunder once more by revealing the baby’s gender online before they had the chance to do it themselves.

Understandably upset, the mum-to-be expressed her concerns to her fiancé, who promised to address the issue with his mother. But even after they explicitly shared a 4D scan with close family, the mother-in-law couldn’t resist sharing the photos online yet again. Feeling like these precious moments were being hijacked, the expectant parents finally confronted the mother-in-law, explaining that her actions were hurtful and taking away their ability to cherish these experiences.

Frustrated by her mother-in-law’s repeated disregard for their wishes, the mum-to-be issued a warning: if she continued making announcements without their consent, she would not inform her when her grandchild was born, and she would learn about it through social media like everyone else. Understandably, the mother-in-law was upset and claimed that the couple was overreacting.

Commenters on the forum unanimously supported the mum-to-be’s decision, emphasizing that boundaries were essential in such situations. They believed the mother-in-law had lost her privilege to be part of these special moments by repeatedly disrespecting the couple’s wishes. Many shared their similar experiences, where overenthusiastic family members had spoiled surprise announcements, underscoring the importance of setting clear boundaries.

The story serves as a reminder of the significance of respecting personal boundaries, especially during exciting life events. While welcoming a new family member is undoubtedly a cause for celebration, it is essential to remember that the expectant parents should have the freedom to share these special moments with their loved ones on their terms. By standing firm in their decision, the couple hopes to regain control of their joyful announcements and preserve the cherished memories of their first baby’s arrival.

Here’s the letter as it was posted on REDDIT. What would you do?

Hello, I (30f) and my fiance (29m) have been together for 10 years, and have been trying to conceive for over 6 years. We are finally pregnant and could not be more happier, however I’ve noticed that my MIL is a little finger friendly and posts alot on her social media pages. The first happened when we actually made the pregnancy announcement to our family and close friends, we announced pretty early because we were so excited, and I found out my MIL had made a post about being a nan again and how excited she is – me and my fiance hadn’t even been able to make the announcement ourselves yet as we wanted to wait till our 12 week scan before posting anything. I didn’t say much because she was probably just very excited, and I focused on working on being as healthy as I can for the baby. The second happened at our gender reveal, we had been planning for weeks, and found out the gender of our baby, it was such a pleasant day and a lot of crying. Lots of pictures were taken, and it was just close friends and family. The day came to a sudden stop when I had a notification that I had been tagged in a post from MIL letting everyone know the gender of our baby, I have to admit this angered me, I was hoping that me and my fiance could make that announcement ourselves first, but it wasn’t even the end of the day and I was receiving congrats message from random people. I expressed my concern to my fiance, and he said he’d talk to her. We’re now 30 weeks into the pregnancy and decided to get a 4D scan to see our precious baby, and sent the photos to close family before we put any posts up, and she again made the post before me or my fiance could. We’ve now had to sit her down and tell her that she has stole these moments from us by making these announcements first, this is our first baby and its those moments we can never have returned too us. I have made a warning that if this continues where announcements are being made before we have made them, then I will not tell her when her grandchild arrives, and that she can find out through social media. She’s now become very upset and said that we are overreacting, aita in this situation? EDIT – it’s my first time posting on reddit, so I admit some information has been missed. I apologise Firstly, I have family that live abroad, that I would have loved to have made these kinds of announcements too before MIL made the announcements public herself. The second time she made the announcement at the gender reveal party we expressed she shouldn’t of done that and that any pregnancy related announcments we would like to make ourselves in our own time and on our own terms. SO did express to MIL as well multiple times about our feelings on the matter. I should also mention that when we shared photos from scans we asked everyone not to share until we had managed to share them ourselves she justified sharing these as ‘I didn’t tag you so it doesn’t count’ kind of attitude towards us being upset about the announcement being made before us again. I would also like to express that I did think there was a line with MILs oversharing. She has other grandchildren from her eldest daughter, and she never made these announcements before her daughter did.


Images: Pixabay

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Chrystal Lovevintage

Chrystal Lovevintage

Chrystal is a writer and blogger who loves nothing more than watching back to back episodes of crime shows. Should she ever find herself needing to cover up a crime, she'll know exactly what to do! Her dream is to one day live in Palm Springs where she can do her writing poolside while drinking endless gin and tonics. Mum to the cutest twin boys in the world, she loves nothing more than the sound of their laughter (usually heard when they're conspiring against her). Entertainment writer and pop culture junkie, she will be bringing you all the celebrity gossip and news that your brain can handle. You can follow her blog at and on Instagram at Chrystalovevintage

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