I’m going to go out on a limb today, and say those two words that every woman dreads ~ facial hair!
A few weeks ago I happened to notice, whilst scrutinising my reflection in the mirror rather closely, (okay, you’ve got me. I was actually squeezing a zit) I happened upon a very unattractive wiry black hair sprouting from my chin!
I’m not kidding you this thing was so long I didn’t even need the tweezers. I simply wound it around my index finger (five times) and pulled. (Only a very slight exaggeration!) It was the stuff that nightmares are made of.
Over the weeks that followed I began to notice that the hair fairy had been visiting more and more.
Could it be the first signs of age creeping in? I suppose it is possible
Is it the unwanted side effect of medication? Very possibly.
Is it the effect of imbalanced hormones? Almost certainly.
Is it here to stay? I bloody hope not.
I admit that I am far more aware paranoid about excess hair at the moment, but this morning I woke to find that the hair fairy and her best friend Mo had had a party on my face whilst I slept.
I don’t want to end up like one of those old ladies with a top lip like a road sweeper’s brush. You know the type I mean. You always see at least one of them riding on public transport. Ironically, they also seem to be the same old women that have to pencil in their own eyebrows. Old age can be cruel.
So, my question is this…What the f…f…f…f…facial hair, am I going to do about it?
I still have my mother’s wise words echoing in my head at the tender age of thirteen, when she caught me shaving my hairless legs in the bath.
“If you shave, they will grow back thicker. You don’t need to shave.”
But in the spirit of teenage rebellion, I ignored her, and continued my clandestine efforts with the razor. It didn’t matter that I didn’t have hairy legs. Everyone else was doing it and with my first period under my belt, I was on the one way road to womanhood!
Needless to say, she was right, (although don’t tell her I said that.) I should have listened. I now have hairier legs and feet than Bilbo Baggins.
So, I am now suitably terrified, that any attempts to remove my lady mo may end in a disastrous Wolverine-esque beard.
Help me! Am I the only one with more whiskers than the neighbour’s cat! What is the best, most lasting way to rid myself of unwanted facial hair?