Dirty Dancing in the Kitchen

Dirty Dancing in the Kitchen
Baby: I carried a watermelon. Β (Dirty Dancing β 1987)
Β So, everyone knows that baby carried a watermelon, right?
Well, what is ever so slightly less well-known, is thisβ¦
I carried a Zucchini.
Thatβs right, a great BIG freakin zucchini β grown organically (none the less) by my MIL.Β (Mother in law, if you are reading thisβ¦thatβs you…okay?)
Since dressing this garden vegetable in clothing and wheeling it into the shopping centre tomorrow in a pram, just to see how many people will lean in to admire my baby, might be considered a) socially unacceptable, b) a wee bit creepy and c) a waste of good food, I will contain myself.
It would be bloody funny though, wouldnβt it?
So, that being said, I am at a loss to know what to do with it.
What would you suggest I do with this mammoth vegetable, (please donβt be smutty!) for those occasions when my family starts to look at me with those hungry eyes?