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Everything is Under Control, Honey!

Image: renjith krishnan /


Hello, love, it’s Mummy

I’m on my way back home.

~ What is that awful racket?

Can you put Daddy on the phone?


I’ve missed you too my darling.

What was that you say?

You think you’ll go completely nuts

In that house just one more day?


They emptied out the fridge again,

In the middle of the night?

You found them climbing on the shelves,

And swinging from the light?


They wouldn’t go to bed on time?

They drove you ‘round the bend?

And you didn’t get to watch a scrap,

Of football all weekend?


They gave the cat a haircut?

And painted the front room?

Just take a deep breath honey,

I said I’ll be there soon.


They woke you up at 6am,

Stuffing play-doh up your nose?

They’d gaffer taped you to the bed

And cable-tied your toes?


No, it isn’t quite as easy,

As I manage to make it look.

To keep the children entertained,

While I work, and clean and cook.


Hold on!  I have an email…

Tiger has cancelled all their flights.

And they doubt that I will make it back,

For at least two more nights!


Hello?  Honey?…Hello….

 Jolene Humphry

P.s. I had better just say, that this particular post is fictional, (but everything else I’ve ever told you is completely TRUE!  This is an example of my imagination running wild when I found that I couldn’t get home due to the ash cloud from the Chilean volcanic eruption!
This is how I managed to while away about an hour of the 
12 hour train ride I endured to get home.

  Hubbster and the kids have been quite fine in my absense, althought he was rather pleased to see me…when I finally disembark the train (from Adelaide to Melbourne last night)…but more about that tomorrow!

How does your partner fare when left to his own devices with the kids?  In my experience…I seem to worry uneccessarily?  Or maybe it’s a case of what I know doesn’t hurt me!  lol!



Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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