The Outback Witch & My Dreams of Being a Children’s Author

It is with much trepidation and fluttery butterflies in my stomach that I share todayβs post with you.
What I am about to show with you *gulp* is one of three (in a series) of stories that I wrote a few years ago, when Foghorn was a tiny baby and the Woo was a wee toddler, and long before we had any inclination that there would also be a Bubble in our not so distant future.
I am nervous to share it, but also kind of grateful that I have so many loyal readers who I hope I can rely on for some honest feedbackβ¦both positive and negative.
I literally have my heart in my mouth as I hit the publish button.
It is one of the pieces of writing I am most proud of, but also most hesitant to shareβ¦possibly because I have always imagined it, since it popped out of my head and onto the paper one morning in bed, as a childrenβs picture book.
Alas though, my efforts to find a publisher for it ran aground, and without an agent (and absolutely no idea how else to approach it) I ran out of steam.
Soβ¦instead of letting it sit, idly forevermore in the memory of my computer, I have decided to share itβ¦and with it another vestige of my brain! (If that is what you can still call it after three glasses of wine!)
I do ask one thing thoughβ¦if you do manage to get passed this long winded and boring introduction and actually read the story, please leave me a commentβ¦a truthful comment to let me know what you thought.
Iβm a big girlβ¦I can take itβ¦honestly, and I am all in favour of constructive criticism.
Sheila was a forgetful witch.
In her tumble-down old shack,
She lived with her familiars
In the Australian Outback.
One morning over breakfast
Sipping bush tea with Big-Red,
She felt something important
Was missing from her head.
βThereβs something Iβve forgotten,
And I tell you, Iβll be glad
When I remember what it is.
Itβs driving me quite mad!β
Frog pointed a webbed finger
At the calendar on the wall.
βThe thirty first of October
Is The Annual Witchβs Ball.β
The witch let out a wail
Almost choking on her toast.
Thatβs right! Now she remembered.
It was her turn to host!
The witch was panic-stricken
βNow what will I do?β
βWeβll all muck in and help you,β
Said her trusty kangaroo.
So the witch and her familiars
With unexpected flair
Whipped up the most amazing
And delicious party fare.
For entrΓ©e they prepared
Jellied eels in plastic tubs
And spiky handpicked spinifex
With crunchy witchetty grubs.
There was wattle macaroni
For the vegetarian crew
And tasty Kakadu plums
And native rock fig stew.
She made individual cream cakes
From Desert-Nardoo flour
And marinated, pan-fried ants
Arranged into a tower.
Sheila was delighted,
So they took a break for lunch.
βWe just need to put the tent up
And concoct the party punch!β
The marquee was erected.
Everything was almost set.
βItβs party time for witch-folk
How could I forget?β
The bilby brought the cauldron
And into it they put,
A bunch of bush bananas
And an alligator foot.
Sheila slowly added nectar
From a honey corkwood flower
And a handful of acacia seed.
The brew was sweet and sour.
βThis punch is just delicious,β
She said sipping from a spoon.
βNow Iβd better get my cloak on
My guests will be here soon.β
βA cloak?β Big Red retorted.
βSheila! Whereβs your cozzy?
Donβt tell me you forgot?
You have to come dressed as an Aussie?β
βFair dinkum! Iβd forgotten!
It completely slipped my mind.
It shall have to be someone like me
Whoβs beautiful and kind.
βI think Iβll come as Kylie.
Iβll make something to wear.
We really are quite similar
If I do something with my hair.β
The witch pulled out a book of spells
βI want sequins and some glitter.β
βSheβll be luckyβ whispered Big-Red
βIf thereβs a dress there thatβll fit her!
βThe cauldronβs being used now
So Iβll use this iron pail.β
And into it she cheerfully dropped
A bearded dragonβs tail.
Next she clipped her toe-nails
And dropped them all in too
And a handful of fresh droppings
From her friend, the kangaroo.
She closed her eyes to concentrate
But the spell was far too long.
She couldnβt quite remember it
And the words all came out wrong.
The wand that she was holding
Flew into the cane-toad trifle.
Alas! Her magic wand had turned
Into a plastic rifle.
She stamped her feet in fury
Tripping over Big-Redβs tail
And fell and got her head stuck
Inside the rusty pail.
The witch let out a mournful cry.
βThis partyβs a disaster!
Help me get this bucket off.
Come on! Pull it faster!β
βMy guests will all be here soon
And everywhere βs a mess.
And I will be the only one
Whoβs not in fancy-dress!β
But the bucket was stuck fast.
So she made a hole to see.
Just then they heard a phut-phut-bang!
Oh no! What could it be?
Hilda had come early
In her beaten-up old ute
She parked it in the garden
And gave the horn a toot.
βHow wonderful,β her old friend said
(She was dressed as old Dame Nellie)
βWhatever gave you that idea
To come dressed as Ned Kelly?β
Just then the clock struck seven
And the sky was thick with witches
In silly hats and fancy wigs
And different coloured britches.
Most of them came on broomsticks,
But others came on land.
Not all witches like to fly
As you may understand.
They all loved Sheilaβs costume
She looked just like dear Ned.
βIt must have taken ages?β
βOh, it was nothing,β Sheila said.
They all exclaimed they were impressed
With such a tasty spread.
And many of them wished theyβd thought
To come dressed up as Ned.
So the witches partied all night long
They sang and danced and ate
And none of them suspected
Sheβd almost forgotβ the date.
Sheila and her familiars
Were the happiest theyβd been
And wished their friends a very β
Happy Outback Halloween!
You can also read The Outback Witch Part One