Building Restorer Finds an Old Business Card From a Male Prostitute Complete With Price List

A very old looking business card has been discovered by a restoration worker under the floorboards of an old property that he is working on. Battered and well-thumbed, the card advertised services of a male prostitute.

The aptly named Percy Long Prong, an expert in frigging – both plain and fancy, claims to specialise in servicing widows. His business card enticed new clients by offering to delight spinsters and treat maidens gently. Satisfaction is, of course, guaranteed by Mr. Long Prong.

Turning the card over, a list of services complete with various prices are detailed.

White paint has obscured some of the text, but we are delighted to help make out the words:

Plain Insertions
Plain (with caresses)
Inverted Positions
Back Scuttles
Womb Stretch
Tongue Bath
Muff Dive

Oh, Percy! How could any woman resist adding a muff dive to her finger diddle order? We can only imagine what a bubble shake might entail.

He’s a good businessman, though, old Percy. Cash before mounting is always important.

Shared on Imgur by someone named RichardAttenbruh, the vintage card was most likely printed up as a joke card handed out to scandalise young women. But we don’t care what anyone says, those prices can’t be beat!

Clever internet detectives worked out that the cards must have been printed in the UK during a thirteen-year window between the introduction of Green Shield stamps in 1958 and decimal currency occurring in 1971. Green Shield stamps were like our Fly Buys. According to Wikipedia, it was a British sales promotion scheme that rewarded shoppers with stamps that could be used to buy gifts from a catalogue or from any affiliated retailer. A hilarious addition to the card once you understand the reference!

Good onya, Percy! With a sense of humour like that, we’re sure he was never short of business.

Source: Tenor and Imgur