Nothing makes me more frustrated or bitterly disappointed than mums attacking other mums.
Twice in the last couple of weeks we have posted articles on reading with children and baby food. Instead of embracing this information some mums have taken this as an invitation to attack other mothers over when and how often they read to their children and whether mums are making their own baby food. The worst of these comments attracted such observations as ‘why did you bother having children if you aren’t going to make their own baby food/read to them daily’. OH MY GOODNESS!
As mums we have the hardest jobs in the world. We are raising little human beings! We constantly second guess ourselves and deal with the dreaded mummy guilt constatly. So to hear other mums impart these words to vulnerable fellow mums just makes my blood boil.
I’m no Martha Stewart. I don’t spend hours a day sitting on the floor doing puzzles and craft. I’m not constantly running around toddler in one arm and vacuum in another. Out of 5 children developmental milestones would have been exceeded and ignored. I probably didn’t toilet train at the right age and I may have let my kids stay in their pj’s all day (shock!). BUT here is what I do know. My children are the most loving and respectful individuals I could have ever hoped to meet and have the pleasure of spending my life with. They know they are loved and they know I am always there for them.
I ask my 18 year old now if he had home made baby food or jar baby food and he has no idea and frankly why should he! He knows how to conduct himself as an amazing member of society, he’s a fabulous friend, fit & healthy and above all knows he is LOVED!
There is a great lesson going around at the moment about the crumbled piece of paper and the lesson our children can learn about bullying.
‘A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stamp on it and really mess it up but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty is was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home.’
It’s the same. Everytime we make a judgement on something another mum is doing we are chipping away at their self esteem and compounding their self doubt.
So I compassionately ask you. Next time you think to pass judgement or start a debate about an issue that certainly didn’t call for it picture that mum that you could be affecting and ask yourself if you really want to add to the massive burden she already carries around. Let’s teach our children that there is no place for bullying by showing them we would never do it ourselves.