Mother In Law Is Adamant She Wants To Breastfeed Her Grandchild!
Mother In Law Is Adamant She Wants To Breastfeed Her Grandchild!
We all have our own horror monster-in-law stories of over bearing MIL’s who don’t know when to keep their mouths shut. Whether it’s to tell you how to wrap your baby or what to feed your toddler it’s often unsolicited advice that would best be left unsaid!
One mother in law however has trumped every single crazy story we have heard so far. You see this bat shit lady wants to breastfeed her own grandchild and has been hounding her daughter in law to let her do so. Apparently it’s all the rage in certain cultures so she thinks it would be appropriate for her culture too.
Naturally the pregnant mum has no interest in such a request but doesn’t know how to break it to her MIL gently.
My MIL may mean well but she is absolutely bat shit crazy. I am due in November and this pregnancy has been one stressor after another all stemming from her. My biggest issues is having absolutely NO boundaries, my SO does not want to confront his mom for fear of his reaction, and also does not want me to do it. The last time I did (our wedding) we didn’t speak for 6 months, I don’t have the greatest of filters when I am pushed to my limit.
The newest and biggest thing I am struggling with is MIL wants to breastfeed my child. She found articles from different cultures that do this and is thinking it’s a great idea. I have told her gross no, my mom got involved and said no, but she is still finding articles and sending them to me about all the benefits. She is in her 60s. I don’t know what to do, I’m beyond done with this woman, but out of respect for my husband I am trying to keep a level head, but I’m starting to fail with my due date fast approaching…
As if the pregnant mum hasn’t got enough to worry about, now she has to sort through articles about why grandma’s breastfeeding their grandkids is such a stellar idea.
“She found articles from different cultures that do this and is thinking it’s a great idea,” explains the daughter-in-law. “I have told her gross no, my mom got involved and said no, but she is still finding articles and sending them to me about all the benefits.”
It’s not like the grandma is a spring chicken either- she’s in her 60’s which is no way an ideal age to have a baby suckling on your breast. Plus how on earth is she even going to get milk in the first place? Pills? A breastfeeding pump? Who knows?!
“I don’t know what to do,” the mum continued. “I’m beyond done with this woman, but out of respect for my husband I am trying to keep a level head, but I’m starting to fail with my due date fast approaching … ”
Commenter’s on the REDDIT post weren’t having a bar of it and told the pregnant woman that it was her husband’s job to put his mum in her place.
“Your husband should be the one shutting her down!” one commenter said. “‘Out of respect’ for your husband? I’m sorry, but where the F is HIS respect for YOU? He needs to tell his mom to stop. Now.”
“Your husband needs to pull his head out of his ass and realise and explicitly tell his mum that she will never be allowed alone with this baby,” another added.
“Have you asked him how he feels about his mum breastfeeding (!!) his child?” another person asked. “Surely he must have a limit with this woman.”
One woman was just downright confused as to where the milk would even be coming from.
“I didn’t think a 60-year-old woman could produce milk,” the person wrote. “Is it powdered? All jokes aside, this is a hill to die on. I’ve heard of MILs using grandchildren as do over babies but this is ridiculous.”
“That is totally a thing in other cultures, but I’m guessing not yours,” someone else commented. “Furthermore from a medical standpoint once the milk supply dries up, and I would guess hers has, it’s extremely difficult to get it going again. This is creepy, weird, and has hand that rocks the cradle written all over it.”
After reading all the comments, the pregnant woman updated her post saying she was feeling “very empowered” to tackle the issue head on.
“I feel it’s his responsibility to confront her and set the boundaries, he differs,” she continued. “I’m hoping after showing him the hundreds of responses he can see that I’m not the crazy one thinking he needs to talk to her early and often about what we want and don’t want for our child with her.
He is very supportive but hates upsetting his mom, which I get, but it can’t be at my expense which is how it feels right now,” she added. “He is tired of talking about it, this started around Labor Day, but with no resolve or boundaries I just can’t get over it.
Thank you all, as a hormonal mess this is the shit I need to hear to make sure I’m not the crazy one. I’m showing hubs your responses tonight and hopefully we can come up with a plan to confront her. As it stands I don’t want her around our baby girl for obvious reasons.”
Good luck mama! This is one problem you definitely need to nip in the bud before she rocks up at your door with engorged breasts ready to rock and roll!
Images: Pixabay
If she is emailing them to you just send them back with no reply.
Forward it to your husband’s email and ask him to do the same.
If she is posting them to you label them return to sender and send
them back. Your husband needs to support you with this issue,
Remind him that it is his baby, not his Mum’s,
No wonder you didn’t have any contact for awhile.
I would be scared to let her touch the baby in case she tries to feed him / her as she may hold onto the baby that tightly that you can get hold of him/her.
Only other alternative is to make sure there is other strong adults there whenever she visits. Make it by arrangement only. Do not let her in if you are alone. Ask her to leave. If she causes a scene warn her you will call the Police. If you have to do it to protect yourself and your baby don’t be afraid to do it. If your neighbours are supportive and will cooperative ask them if they will call the Police for you if they hear her yelling and making too much noise. I know of a family who sadly had to do this. In fact for safety they moved house and didn’t tell the in-laws. 9 years later they still have not told them where they live
Also the Mother-in-Law made life threatening comments when she didn’t get her own way.
That’s why they have never told her where they live. They’ve also now got a new silent phone number.