Mum Accused of ‘Child Abuse’ After Revealing That Her 2 Year Old Daughter Helped Her Give Birth
Mum Accused of ‘Child Abuse’ After Revealing That Her 2 Year Old Daughter Helped Her Give Birth
A mum of two has shared her birth story with the world after allowing her two-year-old daughter to help her give birth to her younger brother in a birthing pool at home.
Ariel Haynes, 23, from Colorado in the US, explained the circumstances of her birth experience, adding that although people have told her that including her toddler in the birth was child abuse, she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Haynes, a birth photographer, said her then two-year-old daughter Izzy was thrilled when she told her she was pregnant and asked if she could take part in the birth.
“As soon as I told her she was going to have a brother or sister she asked if she could be there,” said Ariel. “It wasn’t something I even had to think about – it was a no-brainer that she would be there.”
Ariel checked with her midwife who thought it was a great idea, and thankfully Ariel’s husband Thomas was on board too.
As she neared her due date, Ariel booked a birth photographer and started preparing Izzy for the big day.
“I told her that I was probably going to yell in pain and that there would be blood, but she wasn’t fazed at all,” said Ariel.
“I also talked her through what she could do to help me while I was in labour, like rub my back for me. She just asked if she could ‘catch it’ when the baby was born.”
Once Ariel’s labour really started to get intense, she contacted her family to look after her daughter in case she “freaked out”.
“Izzy started rubbing my back and telling me to breathe and relax, just like I’d taught her,” Ariel says. “She was so excited – when the photographer and the midwife arrived she shouted, ‘mummy’s vulva is opening and my brother is going to come out’, with a huge grin on her face.
“My midwife arrived, then the photographer arrived and started taking photos. I got into the birth pool that we’d set up in the living room, and Izzy asked if she could get in too.”
“During labour, my midwife went to check how far down baby was and Izzy yelled at her, “don’t catch my brother.” And my midwife assured her that she would let her catch and she wasn’t going to. It felt totally natural to have Izzy in the pool with me. I thought she’d want to jump out after five minutes but she didn’t.
Izzy sat between Ariel’s legs the whole time, then when the midwife told her the baby was coming, she put her hands out and felt his head.
“Then, as I gave one final push, the midwife guided Izzy and baby Henry was born into her arms. It was the most amazing moment – probably the best of my life.”
She said: “‘Aw hi! Isn’t my baby brother cute?!’
“Izzy stayed in the birth pool while I delivered the placenta. Then I was moved from the pool to my bed where I bonded with baby and we started our life as a family of four.”
This is a lot for a toddler to handle, and not everyone thought that letting someone so young be so involved in the processes of childbirth was the right thing to do.
“I’ve had people telling me I’m a terrible mother for letting Izzy watch me give birth and others calling it child abuse,’ Ms Haynes said. “I completely disagree. There is nothing more natural than childbirth – why shouldn’t a child experience it?
“I watched my mum give birth to my sister when I was 14, and it was life-changing.
“Izzy and Henry are really close. She loves helping me take care of him.”
What are your thoughts? Would you like to include your children in the birth of their siblings? Let us know in the comments.
Source: Brezi Merryman with Love Is: Photography
Jill Slater
Jill is a busy wife and mother of four young children. She loves nothing more than making people giggle, and loves to settle in with a glass of wine (or four) and wander about the internet. Feel free to follow her to see all the cool stuff she finds!
Nothing at all wrong with that. Good on yay hunny. My daughter was pisses when she missed her brothers birth by mins.
People r gonna bitch bout anything.
If it feels right then there’s nothing wrong with it.
Why don’t people just mind their own business. Worry about your own lives instead of criticising others. Then again why would this person put this out there for others to comment on. Goes both ways.
My only comment is that I would have wanted the midwife in the pool as well so that if intervention was needed the midwife didn’t have to get into the pool in a hurry and the water get wavy.
Who had the honour of cutting the cord?
What a lucky little girl sharing that special moment.
You can’t please everyone. The twisted morality of some people that says this is abuse, are in fact the abusers.
There’s people who have had their children act in the role of Midwives forever.
To me this was a beautiful woman allowing her child a beautiful experience and also the bond the dauther and brother will have in the future. Will be so tight that NO ONE will be able to separate them.