Mum Asks If She Is in the Wrong for Not Wanting to Share Her Hot Chips With Her Child, Husband Says Yes
A mum has asked if she was in the wrong for having one god-damned thing for herself after a family blow-up that ending with her child eating the hot chips she bought herself as a treat after an awful day.
Taking to the fun Reddit sub, Am I The Asshole, the mum shared her story, basically confirming what we have all known since we saw that blue line on the pregnancy test — that nothing we do or own is ours anymore and is now family property.
My husband and I have a 4 year old. I love her to pieces, she’s my lil potato, but every parent knows the struggle of having to share everything you eat with your kid. Whenever she sees me eating, she wants some. 99.9% of the time I share with her because it’s not a huge deal.
Today I had an awful day at work, so I picked up some food from my favourite restaurant on the way home. I just wanted to lay down and enjoy my fries. I try to hide it but kiddo barges into the room and wants my food. This time I didn’t feel like sharing with her, so I told her no.
Kiddo gets increasingly upset, starts crying and throwing a tantrum, but I just tell her that mummy had a rough day and she can eat one of her snacks in the cupboard if she’s hungry (she’d already eaten dinner), and try to explain that people don’t always have to share with her. I remain totally calm and try to leave the room.
Husband comes in and gets mad that I’m not sharing and causing our kid to have a meltdown. I’m like seriously? Can I just enjoy my favourite food in peace after a rough day? Apparently not and I’m an asshole for not sharing! :/
Long story short, kid ends up getting my fries and I end up crying in the bathroom feeling like an awful mum for being angry about it. My husband says that it’s “not a big deal to share” and says I’m an asshole for not sharing. He told me that kids are better at sharing than I am. I told him that I deserve to enjoy one meal by myself in the comfort of my bed after having a godawful day and we don’t want to teach our daughter that she gets whatever she wants when she wants it. So now we’re both angry at each other.
ETA: My husband and daughter had already eaten right before I came home. I asked my husband to keep our daughter out of the bedroom but she got in anyways.
Huh. That’s really kinda shitty on the part of the husband. Way to support your wife after a rough day and reward your child for chucking a tanty because she didn’t get what she wanted.
I know who isn’t getting any hot chips next time he asks for one.
“Kids need to learn limits and boundaries and she is by far old enough to understand. Your husband taught her that throwing a tantrum gets her whatever she wants… good luck with that. Kids cry and get upset, doesn’t mean you do anything to quiet them down and keep the peace. It means you teach them to manage their emotions and learn empathy,” shared someone known as likeitsnotyourjob.
“Agreed. Although sharing is important, it is NOT required to share everything all the time. My son saves money to buy things for himself. He also knows kids that won’t respect his belongings. I will not make him share those things. But he also understands that people don’t have to share with him either,” added tomboynik.
“This is what I came to say,” wrote bbbbeeee4. “It’s important for adults to model sharing, but no one should have to share everything. Adults should model that too.”
It is a time-honoured tradition to hide snacks from your kids — chocolate bars in with the frozen peas, packets of the good biscuits behind the boxes of breakfast cereal. We all learn how to scarf a box of fries down on the way home from a Maccas run and shove the evidence in the wizbin before it is discovered.
We shouldn’t have to, but this is the sort of shit that happens when we don’t.
We hope this poor mum manages to keep something for herself – and herself alone – very soon.