Mum Says Husband Shouldn’t Be Taking Daughter Into Women’s Restroom
When you’re out with your child and they need to use the bathroom which one do you visit? The one according to your sex or theirs? This legitimate and very common question is one fathers in particular face when having to use a public restroom with their child. As women, it’s easier for us to use the toilets with our sons without fear of the other patrons being offended.
One woman however, has an issue with the restroom her husband chooses to take their 4 year old daughter to when they’re out together. Ada Hopper sought advice on parenting site Mumsnet, saying she wasn’t sure if her husband was making the right choice or not.
“Help dh [Darling Husband] and I with a disagreement please,” she wrote.
“When dd [Darling Daughter] (4) needs the loo in a public place, he takes her to the ladies’ loos. I told him women don’t like that and he should take her to the men’s loo. Aibu [am I being unreasonable] or is he?”
This is a tough one. I only have sons and I still take them with me into the women’s restrooms regardless of how uncomfortable it may make other women. There is no way I’m sending them into a male toilet all alone. I have no idea who is in there waiting or what will happen. Of course if there’s a family or disabled toilet available then naturally they would be my first choice (assuming no-one is waiting to use them).
When my husband is out with the boys he will take them into the male toilets as that is just the most logical thing to do. But what if I had daughters? Would I want them going into a male restroom where the urinals are open and they are exposed to men and their private parts or would I prefer my husband going into the female ones?
Such a hard choice! Personally I think if the daughter is younger than say 7 or 8 then I wouldn’t have a problem with her going into the male toilets with my husband. However once she got older and was approaching 10 or 11 then I would most likely feel different. And while I know this is going to sound like a double standard, I would feel much more comfortable with my 11 year old daughter going into a female restroom unattended than I would my 11 year old son going into the men’s. That’s just how I feel as a woman.
And just like the woman who wrote to Mumsnet, I too wouldn’t want my husband walking into a ladies restroom. It’s unfair for the women in there who may feel awkward and put out by suddenly seeing a man appear. Regardless of the reasons he was there.
It’s a predicament that has many parents divided, with some agreeing that women would be uncomfortable with a man in their bathroom, while others saying they would prefer their daughter avoid the men’s restroom (particularly with regard to the open urinals) if at all possible.
So what’s the right answer? What do you think?