Mums Are Describing What Labour Really Feels like and Honestly, Their Descriptions Are Hilarious

Generally speaking, there is nothing funny about labour, except perhaps if they give you helium instead of that brilliant pain relieving gas.

Women are describing the pain of labour and what it really feels like in their own words, and well, it’s hard not to laugh at their descriptions.

One mum took to popular mums forum Mumsnet to ask other mums if it really is impossible to describe the pain of labour to her sister in law, who is trying to conceive.

It turns out, there are many ways to describe what labour feels like, and we’ve collected the best examples for your enjoyment!

?  Apparently, doctors say it’s equivalent to the pain of an amputation (without an anaesthetic of course). So best not tell her that.

?  Like dry socket but in your abdomen. Dry socket is like labour in your face.

?  When I was asked what it felt like the only thing close enough was being cut in half with an axe that was on fire…. or simply that my body was going to rip in half. but that still doesn’t do justice to the pain. Also, I mooed like a cow.

?  Really bad period, then like doing a massive poo but times 1000 in size and out your vagina.

?  Like someone sticking an industrial powered hoover up your arse, and switching it on and off at increasing close intervals.

?  I think there are points when most people think they might die aren’t there? That might sum it up neatly…

?  Maybe like a hundred people all trying to slice you open and beat you with a hammer all at the same time?

?  Like shitting a portable telly.

?  Like a lorry driving over your pelvis, then reversing

?  I felt it was like being squeezed and rung out like an almost empty tube of toothpaste, whilst simultaneously being stabbed up the arse.

?  ‘It’s like trying to shit out a saucepan!!’ How my friend described it to me when I asked

?  The pain that was so bad I told the midwife I was dying. Take the drugs. x

?  Bad enough to swear/cry/shout/take drugs. Not so bad that we don’t usually go back for a second go.

It wasn’t all bad news though, with many commenters on the thread explaining that while it was painful, it wasn’t nearly as bad as that time they broke their toe or other medical events. Some said they much preferred their labours than being pregnant, while for others it was a walk in the park.

It is so interesting that everyone experiences the birth process differently, which is why no one should judge anyone else’s descriptions or choices in labour.

Obviously, every woman has different pain thresholds and vastly differing labours and births, but shrouding the whole thing in secrecy and protecting new mums from hearing how truly painful it can be isn’t helpful.

Besides, it can’t be too bad, can it? Otherwise, we’d all be only children and be “one and done” ourselves!

How would you describe the pain of labour based on your own experience?

Source: Mumsnet and Giphy