Is This Breastfeeding Mum Wrong to Throw Her Father-In-Law Out and Call Him a Pervert?

It’s not unusual for breastfeeding women to cop unwanted advice about their decision to feed their child, or opinions on how or where they should do it. But one woman’s experience with her father-in-law is truly something else! Taking to the popular Reddit forum AmITheArsehole the new mum shared the rather creepy experience with her husband’s father.

I have a 7 month old baby boy, I’m breastfeeding but baby is currently weaning.

I’m convinced that my FIL is being weird about my breastfeeding and not in a “that makes me uncomfortable” way.

I made the baby popsicles from my boob milk a few months ago and FIL put in the group chat that “I’d love to try one of those” with a hearts as eyes emoji. I said “WTF they’re made from breast milk” and he said he didn’t notice that caption.

Today I baked the baby some muffins. It’s a recipe that called for a half cup of breast milk so I made them per recipe. FIL came over unannounced and said “oh yum, someone’s been baking” so I told him “those muffins are for the baby, they’re just fruit, flour and breast milk. I have a normal cake we can have.”

I then left the room to wash my hands, came back and one of the muffins was missing. I asked husband and he had no idea so I asked FIL and he said that he ate it. I said that’s disgusting, I told him they were the babies and contained breast milk. He doubled down and said it’s ok because “breast milk is vegan” (note, no one in this story is vegan).

As many commentators pointed out, her breast milk was in fact not vegan. The argument for breast milk being vegan is that, unlike an animal, a human can consent to her milk being consumed. But in this case, she certainly did not!

I told him he’s a creepy pervert and to get the fuck out my house.

Husband is baffled by the whole thing and was convinced it was a misunderstanding even though I explicitly said they’re made with breast milk.

FIL said I’m a dick because I’d made loads and the baby wouldn’t miss out.

Um…we don’t think the baby missing out on the milk is the issue here!

MIL was blowing up my phone until I asked her if she was really ok with FIL drinking milk that came direct from my breast, I think she didn’t get the whole story.

My sisters say it’s fucking gross and FIL is a weirdo.

Reddit commenters were quick to point out that OP was not the arsehole in this situation at all.

Dude has a total lactation or breast milk fetish. OP needs to realize he is forcing his kink on her and respond accordingly. This isn’t just “weirdo” behavior. I wouldn’t want to be in the same room as someone like him. Not for the kink itself, but because he’s using non-consenting participants. – wethelabrynths111

NTA!!!!

Ick ick ick

It’s not the consuming of the breast milk that’s giving me the icks, but it’s like he’s clearly suuuuuuuuuuper interested in ingesting his son’s wife’s breast milk…….

The heart eyes emoji??????????? C’mon! FOR YOU. I’m sorry your FIL is such a creep, and that your husband isn’t supporting you. Good luck!

I feel violated F – Ashlyn

NTA and excuse me while I keep my skin from crawling off my body… – Flamingo83

Right?? Quantity of muffins was never the issue. But also as someone who uses breastmilk in cooking for my baby, I’d be kind of chapped if someone’s eating the food specially made for them when there’s other food available. FIL has some breastmilk kink. If I tell my husband something has breastmilk in it he steers clear of it. Yes, it’s made for babies to drink but it’s still someone else’s bodily fluids….. – thoog93

In an update to the post, we learn that even his wife had felt uncomfortable with his obsession with breast milk when she was feeding their son.

I asked my husband what he thought I was mad about (he was in the room but on the other side and occupied with the baby) and he said he didn’t realise that his dad actually ate the muffin, he thought I was pissed because he was messing with them. He also didn’t remember the group chat incident but agreed that both incidents together is creepy.

I called MIL to “clear the air” and she revealed that FIL has always been “very interested” in lactation and she actually only fed husband for 4 months and always behind a locked door! Apparently he moved jobs after a woman complained that he kept intruding on her pumping in a designated space in the office.

I’ve told them FIL is not welcome around me and have asked for the key to our house back.

I shared the concerns about him tampering with my milk (and contaminating it) and also that if his own wife wanted him locked out then I’m entitled to that too.

The comment that hit my husband was the one about FIL getting off for years on the memory of eating the gross AF baby muffin. Husband said he won’t be able to look FIL in the eye again.

We agree with OP wholeheartedly that she should not have to be subjected to this man, and would be well within her rights to go no-contact with him!

What would you do in this situation?