After the last few years we’ve all endured, with lockdowns, facemasks and social distancing, it’s unthinkable that someone would knowingly expose a newborn to covid or any other upper respiratory illness. However, according to one new mum, that is exactly what her in-laws did. Not only did they lie about any sickness when asked directly by the 6-week-old girl’s mother, when confronted with the truth they doubled down and said that exposing babies to illness helps to build their immune system!

Seeing red, the baby’s mother told her mother-in-law and sister-in-law that they won’t be able to visit again until the child is at least, 6-12 months old, if at all as they cannot be trusted. However, her husband is not onboard with this decision and she has been left wondering whether her friend’s opinion that she took things to far is correct. You decide!

I (30f) have a 6 week old baby and just told my husband’s entire family that they are not allowed around her at all until she’s 6-12 months. I made this decision without my husband and I don’t feel I’m wrong at all and I refuse to back peddle from my decision regardless of how it makes him feel.

Long story short, both my MIL and my SIL came to see the baby last week and a few days following this, the baby is sick. Super congested, fussy, puking, etc. I bring her to her doctors, she’s fine but has the upper respiratory infection. Doctors tell me to continue to breast feed on demand and they gave her an RSV vaccination. Well, my husband called his mom when we were leaving the doctor’s and he had her on speaker because his phone is busted and only works that way. He gives her the run down on what’s going on with the baby and that’s when she basically tells us that not only was she exposed to the flu by one of her clients but apparently SILs husband had COVID the week prior to her coming to see the baby. Neither of them told us this when making the decision to come meet our daughter. In fact, I specifically asked them if either of them were sick/around anyone who was and they said no. So they lied to me about it and continued their facade while at my home because my husband’s other sister called while MIL and SIL were at my home and I told her she couldn’t come over because her daughter had the flu and I wasn’t chancing it. MIL and SIL heard me say this on the phone and still made out like they hadnt been exposed to anything. Needless to say I confronted them both via phone and I was met with a “you need to build babies immune system, blah blah, it’s not a big deal, she will be fine” etc etc. So I told them that neither of them were welcome here or around my daughter until she was 6-12 months old, if then, because they are selfish as fuck. My husband is absolutely pissed right now. He says I’m going to isolate him and make him depressed (he has a history of depression) and that he needs his family (big family man) and that I’m selfish to do this to him right before their big family holiday celebrations (thanksgiving and Christmas). I basically told him I didn’t care. Our daughter not becoming sick is my top priority and his family doesn’t give a fuck about that so they aren’t going to be around her. My friends also say I’m wrong because this should be my husband’s decision too.

If the new mum came to the internet hoping for support, she was not disappointed! Nobody thought that her reaction was over-the-top or excessive under the circumstances and people shared their stories stressing the importance of protecting small infants from illnesses that can be harmless for adults but deadly to babies.

A friend of mine is a neonatologist (pediatrician that works in a NICU), and would not let anyone touch his kids until after the first round of vaccinations around 2 months old. He was also super careful anytime they left the house or came home from shopping. I don’t remember the diseases he was concerned about, but he’d watched too many babies suffer and die and it wasn’t worth risking it.

His mom was super offended at first, but she calmed down. (RandomlyMethodical)

Yep—people can get over hurt feelings. Babies can’t always get over an illness. It’s not even a contest. (TK_TK)

My baby caught RSV (Bronchiolitis) at 6 weeks and nearly died. I mean… Legit, stopped breathing, turned blue, had to be rushed to hospital and then was in PICU on a ventilator for 10 days.

Their level of irresponsibility is disgusting and you are absolutely right to ban them until your baby is stronger. Stick to your guns. NO member of your family is worth potentially losing your child.

Good luck OP (CuriosityKildTheNat)

NTA. A selfish ‘swear word’ came to see my then baby cousin even though they had a cold and passed that on to cousin.

The result of that common cold? My cousin has a 25% permanent reduced lung capacity and severe asthma for life.

From ‘just a cold’, because some asshole didn’t want to wait to see the kid. (nopenothappening99)

These are the assholes who should be forced to wear masks 24/7 because they are too damn stupid to not infect others who are higher risk! My cousin’s two daughters both got RSV last year at Christmas and had to be hospitalized, but she was smart enough not to bring them to Christmas to expose the other kids and elderly people to RSV even before they got tested and diagnosed. It’s just a major asshole move to do anything differently.

And exposing a baby to Covid is just fucking cruel. Did they not watch the news at all during the pandemic? Or are they the kind of assholes who think Covid isn’t real? Either way, NTA and good job protecting you daughter from stupid assholes! If your husband is that bent out of shape over your decision, tell him his family can see your daughter if they provide proof they’ve received the Covid and RSV vaccines. If they are the anti-vax Covid deniers, then their inability to see your daughter is on them and not you. Or, you can tell them they have to wear N95 masks to see her because they’ve proved they can’t be trusted to not infect a baby when they know they are sick.

Of course, I’m petty and vindictive so making them the bad guys unwilling to follow the rules you set up to protect your daughter’s health appeals to me. I mean, does anyone in the post-pandemic world not know they shouldn’t be around babies or elderly people when you’re sick? That’s just common human decency imo. (Scribe625)

People did not in the least bit blame her for not wanting people around her daughter who blatantly disregarded her health.

They not only lied, they doubled down and acted like they did baby a favour. (invisiblizm)

Equalling concerning as the in-laws actions of course, was the husband’s reaction.

You can not make a person depressed by having a boundary, you are actually making them UNCOMFORTABLE, they just want to use depressed to manipulate you.

OP, he says you making him depressed, then ask him what would he feel if his family’s stupidity would have severely harmed your child?

I am sorry but if there is any way to improve your relationship with your husband, he has to stop his attempts at gaslighting you and using your boundaries as a manipulation tool to claim depression. (OriginalDogeStar)

NTA

You should have talked to your husband before contacting MIL and SIL because he wasn’t prepared to deal with their reaction.

Now, your decision to keep them away is completely understandable! They lied to your face and kept up with the lie knowing you told the other SIL no due to illness! They put their selfish wants ahead of what was best for your child and as a result, she’s sick!

Your husbands reaction was understandable because he didn’t know, BUT him saying you are isolating him from his family and could trigger his depression is manipulative because you are not responsible for his feelings and you aren’t isolating him from anyone. He is free to have a relationship with his family. You’re just giving SIL and MIL consequences for their lies!

So ask him this…are his mother and sister’s wants more important than your baby’s health? Babies can die from RSV, flu or Covid! Does he not care about the danger his family caused to your baby? He’s being dramatic and a coward! (kikivee612)

What do you think? What would you have done in this woman’s position?