One woman has taken to the internet to share a strange interaction she recently had with her pregnant 23-year-old daughter. Seeking advice from her mother, the young woman had asked how difficult breastfeeding was, and was furious when her mother revealed that she had in fact been bottle fed.

I, 45f, and my pregnant daughter, 23f, were discussing the upcoming baby. She asked me how hard breastfeeding was and I told her I never did…. She asked why and I told her the only 2 people I knew who breastfed complained about it constantly and it didn’t seem worth the hassle, especially since her dad left me and I had to go to back to work 7 weeks after she was born, and I only got andextra week because week 6 was Christmas week. She was upset and accused me of hiding this from her, I said it never came up? So she’s all mad and has a call into to her doctor to see if she is at a disadvantage because of this, and I should have “disclosed the facts” before she got pregnant so she knew she was ” malnourished”. She was never malnourished! She hit all her milestones in infancy, and was very healthy. I think she is being ridiculous and she thinks I’m a total asshole. AITA?

Whilst the pregnant daughter’s reaction was excessive, many people thought that it probably had a lot to do with hormones, anxiety and the sheer amount of information available online.

NTA

Her pregnancy hormones and nervous new mother research has got her a little mixed up.

I get it. I had beat myself for getting induced and never knowing “when his real birthday would’ve been.” I eventually snapped out of it because, as parents, we cannot dwell on thoughts like that or you will always feel like a failure to your kids.

As for OP’s daughter. She needs to understand not every mom can breastfeed, or even chooses to, and formula is a miracle of the modern world to help infants get the proper nutrients, no matter the circumstances. (ceebs87)

Sounds like your daughter is reading into too many things and taking them for gospel (the fact she’s booking a Dr to see if she is disadvantaged is quite obsessive tbh)

NTA it’s not something that comes up nor does it matter.

Sounds like daughter might be trying to be a text book parent here and will end up burning herself out. (Whispering-Witch)

NTA. I’m laughing over your daughter thinking her nutritional condition as an infant could impact her pregnancy. What a nut. Well, if she’d actually been starved, it seems there would be a possibility her current health could be impacted, but that’s clearly not the case here. (Regular_Boot_3540)

But, as we know, the information new mums receive on how best to care for their infant changes over time, due to current research and scientific studies. For example, there was a time when formula was touted as being superior to breastmilk, and breastfeeding was discouraged.

That honestly depends on the generation (and maybe location). When my mother had my siblings and me (mid and end 90s) she was heavily criticised for breastfeeding because ‘formula is much better and has more nutrition’. She herself (mid 60s) was bottle fed because at that time formula was all the new rage and breastfeeding was considered really dirty and gross.

Nowadays we should really stop pushing one or the other. If someone wants and can breastfeed then that’s great. If they can’t then there are great alternatives these days. (Traditional_Owl_1038)

Ah yes. The generation of new Mama’s following the advice of Insta and TikTok influencers. The books and experts will ALL say that a fed baby is best.

You fed your daughter. You worked hard as a single Mama to provide. You are 100% NTA (DinoChimkinNuggets)

NTA, and good lord she needs to grow up or get over herself or something. How insufferable. Many babies weren’t breastfed and they turned out just fine. I wonder what she would think if she realized there is a whole generation of babies fed Carnation Milk out of a can LOL. Is she also the type who says that her baby will never eat a french fry, or a goldfish cracker because they are unhealthy? Wait a few years and she might get knocked down a peg or two by her own experience. Or she will push everyone around her away with her drama and antics, one or the other. (theworldisonfire8377)

NTA. FFS the whole “breast is best” pisses me off. Fed is best. My mom gave me formula because she had to return to work after 6 weeks. I switched from breast for formula due to a combination of supply issues and PPD.

As long as the baby gets the nutrition they need we shouldn’t be pushing a narrative that kids fed a certain way are at a disadvantage (Ancient-Transition-4)

Whilst today we know that breastmilk has numerous benefits for babies, we also know that breastfeeding isn’t always possible. Mothers should have the freedom to choose how they feed their child without fear of judgement from others. Unfortunately, whichever feeding method you choose, someone will always think they know better!

I breastfeed. I believed in the benefits and refused to spend money on something my body created for free. BUT I WAS ALSO VERY LUCKY ON THE BF JOURNEY. I overproduced, my baby latched right away with no issues, my workplace had a designated room specifically for pumping mothers. Not everyone’s BF journey is the same. Instead of “breast is best” it should be “fed is best”. I don’t get your daughters perspective and I’m hesitant to say pregnancy brain and hormones as I don’t find that to be an excuse. This is weird. (ObsecureAccount)

NTA. I feel really sad for you that she took it in this direction and questioned your parenting. She is indeed being ridiculous and I’m sure her doctor will assuage her concerns. Does she think having been breastfed as an infant relates to your ability to breastfeed your child when you’re an adult? In 2000, in the US, something like 1 in 3 babies were not breastfed – she’s not in an extreme minority or in a group of people whose health has to be specially tracked.

Is she generally like this, overreactive and prone to ‘victimhood’? Or maybe this is stemming just from her anxiety and hormones from pregnancy?

I hope she cools off and apologizes for her over the top and excessively critical reaction. (owls_and_cardinals)

At the end of the day, fed is always best!

What influenced you in your choice to breastfeed or bottle feed your baby?