Is Your Partner your Best Friend?
The man I have been married to for the last 25 years is not just my husband but he is also my best friend and I am eternally happy and grateful for this as I know it is probably a rarity.
Make no mistake, we get mad at each other, we occasionally say things to each other that we regret and he can drive me off-the-wall crazy at times, sometimes on a daily basis with his bad habits but he is my go-to person when I want advice, when I’m unhappy, upset or I have fabulous news to share. He is the first person I call on my speed dial and I am the same to him. There are days when he calls me more than 10 times to vent about his day or tell me a funny story or sometimes just to ask what’s for dinner.
We kiss each other goodbye every single time one of us leaves the house without exception and kiss each other hello when we return. We say I love you before we go to sleep and every morning when he goes to work and we hold hands whenever we’re out walking together.
I think one of the reasons we are such good friends is because we started as friends when we met at work. We had the same sense of humor, we both held the same opinions about our bosses and shared private jokes. It wasn’t lust at first sight or love at first sight but a common sense of same. And maybe it was because there was no pressure on either of us to act or behave in a certain kind of way that we got to know each other warts and all BEFORE any sort of attraction started to develop between us so we got past the parts that most people don’t get to until after those first highs wear off.
Most of our friends think we’re the weirdest couple they know because we do everything together. He convinced me to buy a dirt bike years ago and I became the only woman tagging along everywhere the boys went (and the only one wearing pink). Then he got me interested in camping and 4WDing and although occasionally other female partners come along, usually their hearts aren’t in it whereas I’m quite happy to help move trees off the tracks, gather firewood and dig holes for the camp oven.
That might make you think I’m a tomboy that just likes to hang out with the guys but he is just as happy to tag along with me on a FULL day of shopping. He usually hangs out the front of the shops I’m looking in if it’s clothes or makeup related but he never, ever complains that he’s bored or wishes that I would go with my girlfriends instead. Last year he found and booked tickets to a baking exhibition in Melbourne, drove me there and carried all the bags for me.
I’ve been invited to countless girl’s weekends away where the women there seem overjoyed to be away from the guys and spend a lot of time full on hating on them and not only do I spend my time missing my husband, I get sad listening to all the resentment and anger and I count myself so very lucky because I can’t wait to get home again to someone who I would never speak of in that way.
Once a year he goes off on a three day golf trip with just the guys (he was given a resounding NO when he actually asked if I could come too). I do enjoy 3 days of watching whatever I want to watch on TV and a spotless house.
We hate each other’s music and whereas I love a good medical show or soppy drama, he loves sports, documentaries and anything to do with wars and guns so we grumble over stuff like that but the BIG stuff, the important stuff like how to spend our money or how to raise the kids we have always been on the same page about. And we made a point since the kids were born, to put ourselves and our relationship on a pedestal so that one day when they moved out, which they now have, that we weren’t two strangers who didn’t know how to speak to each other because our one thing in common was gone.
I hope with all my heart my kids are lucky enough to marry their best friends too and if by some chance you’re reading this looking for love and you have a list in your mind of what makes the perfect partner, maybe cross off drop dead gorgeous, abs of steel and a big bank account and take another look at that mate of yours that always has your back and always makes you smile because looks fade, fortunes can vanish but a friend is forever.