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People Share the ‘Bad’ Things Kids Have Done That Made It Hard to Keep a Straight a Face

One thing is for certain, it pays to have a sense of humour when you are bringing up kids! Not only do they see and hear more than we sometimes give them credit for, they are masters in mimicking us, often at the most inopportune of moments such as when we are in public! If your kid has ever done or said something that was so unexpected or inappropriate that you had to stifle laughter whilst trying to explain to them “we don’t do that,” you are in good company.

Settle in, and have a giggle as people share the ‘bad’ things their kid or someone else’s kid did that might be considered bad behaviour, but was also funny as hell.

Walking through the capital building with my then four year old son when a man on crutches with one amputated leg got into the same elevator as us. My son said, in stage whisper, “Mom, what happened to his leg?”

The man heard him and kindly said that he lost his leg a year ago. My son didn’t miss a beat and said “Did you check between the couch cushions? My mom says she always loses shit in there.”

I was appalled. The man, on the other hand was laughing so hard he was crying. (mainlyforshow)

One morning we awoke to find our 2 year old boy covered head to toe in urine because he had removed his diaper. So while bathing him, our 5 year old girl asked if she could take a bath too. It was a weekday and we were all running very late getting ready for work and trying to get the kids to school on time. We explained to her that there was no time and the only reason he was getting a bath was because he peed his bed. She then went to her room, laid down, peed herself and re-emerged in the bathroom to say “Can I have my bath now?”.

I absolutely lost my shit, laughing uncontrollably. Mom was not so amused. I made pancakes and we all played hooky. We’re separated now, and this is still my favorite memory of when things were good. Thanks for this post. (BeenBearClawed)

My son, who was 1.5 years, followed his 5 year old cousin to the toilet. My son has always been fascinated by a stream of piss and i had to hold him back when he followed me to the bathroom. On this particular trip with his cousin though….all we heard was “Marcus stop…marcus stop!” We went to the bathroom and saw Marcus washing his hands in his cousins stream of piss, while his cousin is moving around trying to stop marcus whilst absolutely pissing everywhere. That will be a good story to tell when hes older! (deleted)


While playing in her pretend kitchen, my 4 year old was rummaging through the cabinets and says “Where the fuck is my colander?!” Before I can say anything she finds it, sniffs it, looks at her teddy bear and asks “Did you piss in this?” After gathering my composure I discussed the use of “daddy words” (phesandages)

My daughter is a peach, she behaves wonderfully, but… Dear fuck, that kid. This happened right after she turned five.

She comes into the room with jagged bangs that were literally maybe half an inch in some places. Right in her forehead, and much too short for me to fix. It was terrible.

I gasped and go, “Spawn of Bone Yard, why did you cut your hair?!”

She grabbed a lock of hair, looked me in the eye, and with a straight face, said, “I didn’t cut it. It fell out.

I fucking lost it. I legitimately ran out of the room, couldn’t breathe, I just couldn’t.

Daddy dealt with that one. (BoneYardBetty)


Waiting in line at Target with my then 3 year old daughter.

There was a large (i’m being nice) woman in front of us being served. My daughter turns to me and says, very loudly

-Dad, that lady is huuuuuuuuge

The teenage cashier was holding back laughter. The woman in question turned around, scowled at my daughter and me and said “That is So Rude”

Before i could reply, my daughter did “But you are huuuuuge”. And started giggling like most 3 year olds.

I put on a fake smile and made some mumbling apologies. I was embarrassed and had to explain to my daughter that she shouldn’t point out other peoples conditions. (meanElavator)


My son was a sensitive 3 year old. His cousin was a bossy, sassy 4 year old. While I was sitting in a recliner with the foot rest up, she had climbed up and was sitting on the end of it. He wanted up too, but she told him he couldn’t. He walked away calmly, and I thought he had gone elsewhere to play. Suddenly, she dropped out of view and instantly started crying. My son had snuck around the back of the recliner and had used the lever to put the foot rest down. It went down super fast due to her weight- it was like a trap door had opened. I had to let my sister scold him because I couldn’t keep it together while the vision of her dropping out of nowhere replayed in my head. (mamabear371)


My two year old received one of those cars (we call them Flintstone cars) for his birthday. My husband, thinking he’s cute, told our son to “drive like mama.”

My toddler slams both hands on the steering wheel, slams a hand against his squeaky horn, and yells at the top of his lungs, “GET OUT DA WAY, SLOW GAHDAMN SHIT.”

My husband dissolved into what can only be described as surprised giggles. (thisisthedisaster)

My wife is currently 8 months pregnant with our 3rd child, so she’s quite large at the moment. The other day, she told my 4 year old to stop doing something. His response?

“Whatever you say, fatty!”

Yup. That was a tough one to handle with a straight face. (Tribeus)


One time the babysitter tried putting my six-year-old son on a time out. He ran outside, and she followed to retrieve him. He managed to get around her and back into the house, and locked the sliding glass door on her. When she demanded to be let back in, he told her, “No. Now you’re on a time out, and you can’t come back in until you’ve calmed down.” (gcanyon)


Today my 4 year old was having a hard time listening and was just being a butt face in general. I was trying to talk to him about whatever the hell we needed him to do at the moment and he looked at me, super serious, and said “Don’t you know I’m king of the kids?! Can’t you respect that?!!” (NoncomprehensiveRuin)


One of my biggest pet peeves is when people go out in public in their pyjamas, I don’t know why it irks me to the extent that it does, but alas.

So, one day I was taking my 3yr old son to nursery, and as we were walking through the park, we happened upon a woman who was undeniably wearing pyjamas.

My son, knowing that our rules are “get dressed or you’re not going outside” (because of my hatred of people going out in pjs) decided to shout at the lady:

“Why are you in jamas?! Jamas are for INSIDE”

She looked mortified. (Nomes92)


When I was about 3, we were eating out. The mayor’s wife came to talk to my mom. As she turned around to leave, I said very loudly “Man, she has a big butt!” Im so glad I was told this story and don’t remember it happening. (Samson2020)


My daughter when she was younger (4 at the time) drew a picture of a whale on the bathroom wall, when I brought her back in to tell her off the conversation went:

Me: that’s not good is it? Daughter: No. Me: why is it not good? Daughter: because the whale doesn’t have a hat…. (sn4pdr4gon78)


So this was actually something we (moreso my sister) did, that my parents will never stop cracking up about.

The year was 1992. Ice skating was at a peak of popularity thanks to Tonya Harding. I was 3, my sister 5. My sister was enamored by the outfits, the choreography, the music, the commentary… My sister wanted to be an ice skater.

So one day, she wakes me up early. She had already gotten an early start on her project of the day, but needed my help moving the kitchen table to finish up.

The project? She was determined to go ice skating. So she took all of the yogurt in our fridge and had spread it all over our kitchen floor. I remember being a little reluctant, but more curious about engineering this task. so I quickly helped her move the chairs out of the way, and we got to work finishing up our rink.

It turns out that just about anything can be used, not just yogurt. We got sour cream, mayonnaise, even mustard and peanut butter could be used! We spread this all over the kitchen floor and went “ice skating” for however long.

How’d our parents find out?

Our fun was over, and it was time to wash up, so my sister goes up to our parents’ bedroom:

“Daddy, wake up. Can you turn on the water?”

“nnfgg yeah. Why?”

“I need to wash my feet.”

“Okay… yeah, give me a minute.

…wait a minute, why do you need to wash your feet?”

“To get the yogurt off.”

“Okay… yeah.”

about 10 seconds later

“Wait… huuuhhh!?”

I truly do not remember if we ever got in trouble for this one, but both of my parents find it fucking hilarious now. (DangerSwan33)


What has your child said or done that made it hard to tell them off because you were laughing?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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