If you’ve ever had someone wish you a happy birthday and replied “you too,” you’ll know that even the most intelligent people are capable of saying stupid or awkward things without realising. Often these accidental utterances are so embarrassing we can relive the shame many years later just thinking about it or forever endure teasing about it from family and friends who refuse to let us live it down.

This week, Reddit users shared the stupidest things they’ve ever said that had them questioning their intelligence, and we’ve compiled a list of some of the funniest ones for your reading pleasure!

One time I said I wish I could swim in the air & my friend said “You mean flying?” (Not_AMermaid)

Not too much ice please, don’t wanna water it down. (It was literally just a cup of ice water). (kitteh619)

“If there are adult diapers, why aren’t there adult strollers?”

My husband, looking at me like he regrets ever meeting me: “you mean wheelchairs??” (TrainwreckMooncake)

“You hit me in the cervix!” I am a man. I meant sternum. Still have to shake that memory out of my head sometimes. (HereticPrime97)

I once wore a bra that was too tight and complained of my sore scrotum.

Roommate: “… do you mean sternum?”

Yeah, probably. (Lighthaus_14)

I was on a long train trip, gazing out the window, when I said to my friend: “I feel like every railroad crossing gate we’ve passed since I’ve been looking has been down… what are the odds…”

I have a PhD (not in trains). (Orioliolios)

Claimed that the slowest animal is probably an enema. I misspoke and meant to say anemone. I’ll never forget the looks of confusion from my coworkers (Goldrising84)

“Oh look, it’s a full sun out today” (imadeacrumble)

My boss asked me to print an address label for some documentation they had to mail out.

My printer was out of ink so I told her I was unable to print said label/mail the document out in time

….she then explained that I could just write it by hand.

Smrt. (BoiledGnocchi)

I genuinely got Freddy mercury and Eddie Murphy mixed up during a conversation

“Eddie Murphy? That’s the singer for queen right?” (TheTekster)

I was watching a TV show (can’t remember what) with my family. There was this cute black girl who appeared in a scene and had a nice, short hairstyle I thought was cool. I said out loud “If I was black, I would have my hair like that.”

I am a black guy. I meant to say girl. (Najay365)

“your’re born in december?? that sucks you have to wait a whole year for your birthday” (SuperSawyer07)

When I was first dating my husband he took me to a football match and said it’s played in quarters. I asked him so how many quarters are there? 🤦🏼‍♀️. 28 years later still haven’t lived it down lol. (Content_Pumpkin_1797)

I called my husband in a panic because I couldn’t find my phone. I actually asked him if he knew where my phone was. His answer – ah..in your hand? So yeah. (invisblGarbageTruk)

After calling in sick I told my manager “I love you.” Before hanging up. (KidHamcock)

When my son took his first steps I was so excited and exclaimed to my husband, “Look! He’s walking on his back legs!” (go_eat_worms)

I was getting a haircut. Barber asked what I did. I said what I did. Without pause I went “what do you do?” (Wwwpap)

I removed a giant graffiti penis from a building at work. I told my boss “I managed to get that huge penis off” … I don’t think I’ll ever live that one down. (SugarCaneBandit)

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said?