Tuesday, May 3, 2011

MasterH was our little “surprise” baby. After so much trouble falling pregnant with the girls and 3 angel babies I thought we were done. When I saw those 2 lines I was shocked first but you couldn’t wipe the smile

off my face. Without even trying I had fallen pregnant and had no idea I was!

Being pregnant with MasterH was different. I had no regular scans or clexane for the first 12 weeks. Everything went so smoothly. Well at least I thought it was. At 26 weeks things started going a bit pear-shaped. I was measuring at 32 weeks. I was getting Braxton hicks contractions and I really didn’t feel that crash hot. At this stage I didn’t know if we were having a boy or a girl and I was told to book in for an ultrasound to check bubs size. I started wondering if I should find out? At 27 weeks and 4 days I found out that we were having a BOY!

They thought that I was measuring big because I was just below the highest level of amniotic fluid.

When I went for my next visit they told me that I was measuring at 35 weeks (I was 28 weeks) so that negative result I had on the glucose tolerance test would need to be done again (I was terrified) Turns out I did indeed have gestational diabetes again. This time I couldn’t control it by diet I was growing bigger every day so the specialist told me that I had to start insulin injections. I was an emotional pregnant woman who felt helpless so of course I cried. With every person I saw at my visit. All 4 of them.

From there on I was in and out of hospital. Going to ultrasound appointments and blood tests. I felt sick 24/7 and constantly felt like I was going to pass out. My blood pressure was low. My sugars were out of control. I went in for my normal appointments and every time I was put on the contraction machine. “You won’t make it to 36 weeks they said” But I did. Trying desperately to make the most of every moment I had pregnant but feeling so utterly terrible.

From having the problems we had with MissS I was well aware of doing the “Kick count” On the 9th august I hadn’t felt baby move once and I knew he ALWAYS kicked when I had a shower. I waited for an hour. Counted. And nothing. I was scared so I called the hospital and they said to get ready. Drop the kids off. Bring something to do. And they would put me on the ctg machine and check for me. They were great. We dropped the kids off and went to the hospital. Bags packed Just in case like she told us. I felt him kick just as we were walking into the hospital. It’s amazing how good it feels. Instantly I held my belly waiting to feel it again.

I spent time on the ctg machine and I was due to be induced on Monday anyway so when they came in she said we should be right to go but she just had to check with the Dr first then. So I called mum “were coming home. He’s kicking just not as much as he has been” The next minute a Dr and the midwife came in. Turns out I wouldn’t be going home after all. They decided I needed to be monitored because he wasn’t moving as much as he should and my sugars were all over the place. I needed to be induced the next morning.

The Dr came in and put a balloon in that they use for inductions (TMI maybe) anyway when she did my poor baby boy started going crazy in there. I was in an intense amount of pain. So much that my friends that came to visit couldn’t even come back in the room. The balloon fell out and the contractions were random but the pain was horrible. I tossed and turned. Trying desperately to find a spot I could sleep that didn’t make me feel like I was dying. This wasn’t labor pain this was something else. I was terrified. I started feeling like I was going to pass out and throw up. Turns out my sugars had dropped and I was having a hypo.

Very early they came in to see how I was (they checked on me every hour or so ALL night) I heard women screaming out in pain then the sweet cry of a new baby. I wanted that. I didn’t know if I could do it. The confidence flew out the window that I had had. My poor little boy moved around inside me all night. They checked me so many times and they couldn’t get a good reading because he wouldn’t stay still. My hubby slept on the floor right beside me.

They came in to check if I had dilated any more. I was 4cm dilated and the Dr said she couldn’t feel the head that she thought it was the cord. This is where things changed so quickly that My heart still pounds just remembering it. She spoke of having to have a C-section and the risks. She said they would do an ultrasound to check. I went and had a shower while I waited mainly so I could ball my eyes out by myself. And I did. My heart felt heavy, I was in alot of pain and I was so scared for my baby. So they did an ultrasound and as soon as she put the machine on she went “oh…… Did you know your baby is breach”. He wasn’t the day before!!! All that movement I felt after the balloon had been put in was him turning breach. His knee was in my pelvis so there was no chance of vaginal birth this was just before 9am. Very quickly they explained I would need a C-section. That my waters were bulging and they expected would burst soon. I signed the forms they prepared me and took me down for an emergency C-section. I had a good cry while they told me details of why and what would happen. Mum looked how I felt… Terrified…..And then…. I composed myself I stopped crying knowing there would be a big ass needle going into my back that I needed to be still for. And I was going to meet my baby boy.

The Drs and nurses were amazing. They not only did their job wonderfully but they were talking to me the whole time. Even the anesthesiologist stroked my hair. ” It will be ok, you’ll meet him soon” It was a weird feeling. Not anywhere near as bad as I thought though. It didn’t hurt. It just felt weird. Within no time. I heard them say the cord was wrapped around his neck. Before I had time to panic. I heard him let out a huge cry. My Big Baby was big! He was 9lbs.

I just wanted to get up right there and then and hold him!! They brought him to me and I got to see him and they rested him on my chest. 🙂 All the fear of him being taken away was soon dispelled. They let me go into recovery with him by my side. I fed him. They checked his blood sugar and waited for me to get feeling in my feet back.

All my fears about not bonding with him because of not “giving birth” didn’t even enter my mind. I have such a strong bond with him it’s hard to describe. While it wasn’t the birth I expected or planned it was meant to be. So many things could have happened and didn’t. Someone was watching over me and my boy that day. I found strength I didn’t know I had. I had my best friend waiting for us. I had my mum’s love. Daddymax’s strength and love. I couldn’t have done it without them. Daddymax was amazing.

I am amazed. Every time I think of the day my kids were born. I think about how completely different everything was. MissE MissS MasterH. I love you. So very much.

You can read more about Mummy Max and her beautiful children at Life as Mummy Max.

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