One new mum has taken to the internet to ask if she was out of line after a recent run in with a guy who was delivering a package to her house. Having a new baby that has difficulty latching on and having to pump breast milk throughout the day to feed her child, the woman was caught mid-pump by the delivery guy knocking on the door. Hastily throwing on her cover so that she could avoid the inconvenience of having to pick her parcel up the next day from the post office, she answered the door.
However, upon seeing her the delivery guy was not best pleased, and told her so leaving her wondering if she was the one at fault.
I (33F) am currently pumping 6 times a day for breast milk. My newborn had tongue tie and difficulty latching, so I am exclusively pumping. At home when it’s just me and my husband, I don’t cover up to pump. When I have company over, I wear a cover over the pumps (nothing wrong with not wearing a cover… I’m just personally not comfortable pumping with my nipples exposed in front of my in-laws, parents, friends, etc). FYI without a cover, even though you are fully clothed, the nipples are visible through the flanges when you pump.
Yesterday my front lawn camera triggered a notification, and I saw the delivery guy walking up to my house with a package that I was expecting. I was mid-pump so I texted my husband, but he replied that he was in the middle of a work meeting and could not come to the door. After ringing the doorbell and receiving no answer, I could see on security cam that he was writing the missed delivery slip for pickup at the post office.
Honestly, it’s such a pain because you have to wait until the next day and drive all the way to the post office. So I decided – screw it – threw on my cover and opened the front door. He looked very shocked and very uncomfortable to see me: I had my pump clipped to my waist, a cover over the flanges, so while no breast or nipples were exposed, you could tell there was the outline of something attached to my chest, some tubing visible, and obvious pump noises and possibly audible milk spray. It looked something like this.
He basically cleared his throat, shifted and looked away while I signed for the delivery. Then as he handed me the package, he kind of winced and said: “You know you didn’t have to open the door in your… state. It’s nothing urgent.” I replied: “Yeah, but I don’t want to make a trip to the post office to pick it up when you’re already here.” He seemed quite annoyed and said: “I think you should realize that this makes others uncomfortable.” At that point, I felt quite annoyed and said rather sarcastically, “My bad for traumatizing you. Hope no one else on your delivery route answers the door with medical equipment.”
When I told my husband, he rolled his eyes and said “that guy needs to get over himself.” But thinking about it, I wonder if I was being an inconsiderate AH. Perhaps this is different from breastfeeding or pumping in public? There, you are minding your own business and others can look away, and you are not “making” them look at you. By answering the door, I was maybe forcing him to interact with me while I was in a state that some might find uncomfortable? I wonder if I’ve misunderstood some kind of social contract here.
Fortunately, the comments section was filled with people who reassured her that she absolutely was not in the wrong, and that the delivery guy was completely out of line.
NTA. You’re in your own home, you were totally covered. This man needs to grow up and understand that his job requires him to visit people in their personal spaces. You didn’t flash him, you were basically fixing your kid lunch. What an absurd reaction for him to expect you to inconvenience yourself on the off-chance you might accidentally offend someone by doing something entirely inoffensive. (SpicyTurtle38)
IMO you would have been fine even without the cover. I’ll never understand why breasts are still such a shocking thing to people,especially in the context of using them for the reason they exist. NTA (MikeDropist)
The driver was out of line. There was NOTHING sexual about what OP did. People need to get over this infantile fetish of the breast. (Feisty-Cheetah-8078)
Some comments came from people who had also worked as deleivery drivers, and they expressed surprise at the man’s behaviour, with many saying that seeing people in various states of undress was all part of the job when turn up at people’s homes.
I used to be a delivery driver and it wasn’t uncommon for women to answer the door while breastfeeding.
I’m a 32 year old man, I never found it to be odd or strange, it’s just one of those things you need to accept you’ll come across since you’re so close to people’s personal space in your job.
obviously there’s an initial surprise cos it’s not every door that answers like that but I hope I did a pretty good job at acting unfazed and leaving them feeling dignified. (Impressive_Spring864)
As a former mail carrier, I’m surprised the mail carrier said anything at all, because I’ve seen it all!
A man wrapped in a towel in the middle of shaving. Women breastfeeding. A nude woman in a cover-up that really didn’t cover up anything. A man yelling ‘just a second’ opened the door, wearing just basketball shorts… with an explicit threesome paused on the biggest TV screen I ever saw! (I actually blushed at this one.)
A 2-3 year old who escaped out the open door, butt naked (just wearing a shirt) because they were potty training. A half dressed man with a naked woman laying on the couch. A woman sitting on the lap of a guy, obviously doing it, in the car in the driveway. Rolls down the window and pauses enough to sign for a certified letter. A woman who was pumping and didn’t cover up at all.
I could go on and on with what I saw in 25 years working for the PO. You covered up while pumping would be no big deal to me. (pinkflamingo-li)
Other mums assured her that they had accidentally answered the door in far worse situations.
I literally opened the door with a boob out during the early days of breastfeeding my oldest kid. Thank goodness it was my friend, but it could well have been a delivery person. (jmbf8507)
Absolutely opened the door to the postman with most of a boob out in an extremely sleep deprived state when my son was a newborn. Postie did not bat an eye and congratulated me on the new baby. (limedifficult)
Everyone agreed that the delivery guy was very unprofessional to have said anything to her at all, and said she had every right to facilitate the feeding of her child anywhere, but particularly in her own damn home!
“I think you should realize this makes people uncomfortable”
Yeah and guess what? Milk engorged breasts is much more uncomfortable than the 2-5 seconds you have to interact with me. (No_Recognition1449)
You did everything you could in that moment to make the delivery driver as comfortable as possible. If he had an issue “knowing” that something was attached and milking you… that’s a personal problem. (KBD_in_PDX)
What do you think? Would you have answered the door in her position?