Woman Forbids WFH Husband to Come Out of His Home Office When She Has Friends Over for Playdates
When you have small children, especially if you are a stay-at-home parent, you often find yourself with a new circle of friends. Often, you bond with these new friends because you have children of the same age, and can bond over shared experiences. Sometimes you are kind of thrown together because you’re little people establish a strong bond with one another. Weekend catch ups with friends for dinner and drinks are often replaced with coffee and playdates with various new acquaintances and friends. It’s natural to want to make a good impression when establishing new connections, but one man is baffled by his wife’s demand that he stays hidden when she has people over for playdates.
Writing into Reddit, the work from home father explains the bizarre situation he has found himself in lately.
I am a man who works at home. My daughter is home all day, so my wife wants to have play dates for her. The problem is, if a woman comes over to talk to my wife, or comes to the door, or a child is over for a play date my wife wants me to not leave my office at all. No getting a drink, making a cup of coffee or going to the bathroom. I have to stay out of sight. We had my daughter’s friend come to the door. We have an indoor cat. My wife was holding the door open, so I went to try and get the cat so she couldn’t run. My wife then spent the next 15 minutes yelling at me, and effectively saying I look like a creeper, because I came out of my office. I think it is weird not being able to move about my own home, when I am WFH everyday full time. Is this normal? AITA?
Is this normal? Does he really need to ask?
Commenters on the thread were of course quick to point out that this was absolutely not normal behaviour. Some even questioned if perhaps she had something to hide, or was possibly embarrassed that her husband worked from home.
That makes no sense honestly. I definitely feel like she’s hiding something. Maybe she’s told these other mothers some lies and doesn’t want it to come out? Is she for some reason embarrassed that you work from home? Like she either thinks it’s a bad thing or thinks the other moms will react negatively to that for some reason? (apyrus)
NTA. In your wife’s mind, it’s all about her image. She sounds really insecure about the fact that you WFH instead of going to a traditional workplace every day. As long as you’re hidden away, she can pretend you’re not there at all. (sharirogers)
NTA. That is a horribly controlling thing to do, not normal whatsoever. Unless your WFH job is nude model, the only reason your wife is giving you the stink eye is that she’s a controlling….unkind word for a woman. (halfbakedcaterpillar)
Other people suggested that he put an end to the nonsense immediately.
C’mon dude. Put your foot down. Tell your wife NO. It is your house too. How does getting a cup of coffee make you look “like a creeper”? Inform your wife that you will be leaving your office AS NEEDED, and if she has a problem with it, then SHE can either no host play dates or host them elsewhere. You are NTA. Btw, if my wife thought I was a creep, I would re-examine my marriage. (joe_eddie_13)
Seriously! It would be a cold day in Hades before my spouse grounded me to a room. That’s just not even a realistic ask for a (presumably) 8 hour work day. Definitely NTA! (Ianm12250
It’s insane to think that a man wouldn’t or shouldn’t be interested in meeting the children or parents that are part of the lives of his family. Indeed, many mother’s groups evolve into catchups that the whole family are involved in, and there is absolutely nothing weird or creepy about that.
You need to stop letting your wife imprison you during the day. This is ridiculous.
So long as you are fully dressed (not working in boxer shorts) and aren’t walking into the bathroom when a guest is using it–there is nothing wrong with you traversing your house for your needs.
Stop giving into her AH demands.
In a normal world, a male parent should know/meet the playdate’s parent(/s) too. (Blacksmithforge3241)
That’s incredibly weird. I can’t imagine asking my husband to not leave a room in his own home or not be around his kid when others are over, mine was always around for play dates. (Fun_Milk_4560)
Infact she could actually be making him appear creepy with this insane behaviour. As one parent commented, ‘As a mom who has been to houses of other moms I was just getting to know for playdates I’d be really creeped out by someone hiding away and not even bothering to say hi, its manners to introduce yourself at least.’
Needless to say, the Dad was not deemed to be an asshole in the least, but a long conversation with his wife and possibly some therapy to get to the root of why she assumes other women may feel this way would probably be helpful to resolve this issue.
Do you feel uncomfortable if a dad is present in the home when your child has a playdate, or do you naturally expect that they may be there?