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“I Left My Sister’s Wedding Because She Excluded My Husband from Family Photos”

“I Left My Sister’s Wedding Because She Excluded My Husband from Family Photos”

We’ve all heard a Bridezilla story or two, where the bride is determined to have her picture perfect day no matter what the cost, and they often get upset when people don’t bow to their unrealistic demands. But one woman, used the excuse of wanting her wedding photos to be in a male-female-male-female format to exclude her brother’s husband from the photographs, citing it was for aesthetic reasons. Unsurprisingly, her blatant homophobia was both humiliating and hurtful to both her brother and her brother-in-law, and the pair decided to leave the wedding party early.

Here’s how the day went down.

My (31M) sister Anne (34F) got married on Saturday. My husband of 7 years, Mark (32M), was there with me and up until one point, is was an amazing evening.

After the ceremony, Anne wanted a picture with all of our siblings (there’s five of us) and their respective partners so we started lining up.

When Anne saw that my husband was standing next to me, she shook her head and said something about him “ruining the aesthetic”. Apparently, her plan was to put one man and one woman next to each other alternately.

My youngest sister (18F), who doesn’t have a partner and was standing on the very side, offered to stand between the two of us, so we could be close and Anne’s wish would still be respected.


I thought that was a great solution, but Anne disagreed and told Mark to get out of the picture. He’s quite introverted and tries to avoid confrontation under all circumstances, so he simply complied and told me not to get angry, but it was obvious that he was hurt and disappointed by being left out.

Obviously, it didn’t stop me from getting angry and I walked away with him. I can understand that Anne wants her wedding pictures to look exactly how she imagined them, but I think that the idea my younger sister proposed was very reasonable.

I congratulated Anne and her husband one last time, but then I said my goodbyes. When I was asked why we were leaving early (especially before taking the pictures), I said that I didn’t feel like our presence was wanted.

We left before dinner was served and I took Mark out to his favourite restaurant to cheer him up a little.

Anne has texted me since saying that I was being overdramatic and making a fuss over nothing. Our parents have tried to remain neutral, but expect for my youngest sister, the rest of the family supports Anne and thinks that leaving early was going too far and that I should’ve sucked it up instead of ruining her big day.


Imagine being so self-centred that you think it’s perfectly acceptable to insult people and they should just put up with it because it’s your ‘big day!’

As one commenter quipped ‘he didn’t “ruin” her wedding, she did, by being a jerk.”

Another rightly pointed out “She expects you to celebrate her marriage while she disrespects yours. Good on you for respecting your husband.”

100% homophobia even if the sister doesn’t even realize it. If you are fully embracing a family member as LGBTQ+, ‘aesthetic’ of siblings with their partners having 1 couple being 2 gay men would mean nothing.

The aesthetic for a siblings and partner photo is that your fucking siblings and their partners are in the photo. Full stop. If anything, you could make an argument to do a photo with and without the younger single sister.

The parents are not being neutral either. They are showing the are uncomfortable with the gay couple by siding on the sister’s side of the argument about bullshit aesthetic and letting it look how the sister “imagined it” aka, hetero couples only. (2buirnttoname)

Your sister wanted a picture of you as she desired you to be, not as you actually are. Imagine if this were any other male/female couple – would sister have made the same request, and would the flying monkeys be flinging poo like they are now?

Good call, walking away. Your presence, as you exist, was not desired. No reason to stick around and by quietly insulted. If the bride can’t even manage to be nice on her big day, I can’t imagine how poorly she treats you on normal days.

NTA (baka-tari)

If she just cared about the aesthetic, the youngest sister standing between them would keep the male/female ratio intact for the picture.

This was def homophobia imo (slutshaa)

What an awful person his sister sounds. Someone should take her aside and remind her that the most important thing about photographs that we look back on in years to come, isn’t how they look, but the people that are in them!

Do you think he did the right thing leaving the wedding early?

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Jolene enjoys writing, sharing and connecting with other like-minded women online – it also gives her the perfect excuse to ignore Mount-Washmore until it threatens to bury her family in an avalanche of Skylander T-shirts and Frozen Pyjama pants. (No one ever knows where the matching top is!) Likes: Reading, cooking, sketching, dancing (preferably with a Sav Blanc in one hand), social media, and sitting down on a toilet seat that one of her children hasn’t dripped, splashed or sprayed on. Dislikes: Writing pretentious crap about herself in online bio’s and refereeing arguments amongst her offspring.

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