Man Who Lied To His Girlfriend About Having a Daughter Wants To Know If He Was Wrong
A man has taken to Reddit for advice after telling his girlfriend that he had a daughter even though she wasn’t biologically his. The girlfriend freaked out at the news and now he wants to know if he’s an a**hole for lying to her.
The post sent into the discussion forum reads as follows: My brother passed away 5 years ago. He has a daughter who was 9 at the time. Let’s call her Nora. My other brother became Nora’s legal guardian but she ended up living with me most of the time and we got closer. She is like a daughter to me and even though I’m not her legal guardian everyone in our family has accepted me as her dad.
I started dating my gf about a year ago and told her that I have a daughter. I didn’t go into details that she is not mine I just wanted her to know that Nora and I are a package deal.
I introduced her to Nora about 4 months ago and they do NOT get along. Nora is not an easy kid to get along with and my gf lacks patience
A few days ago she found out that Nora is actually not mine and freaked out. She called me an asshole for lying to her and forcing her to tolerate and spend time with “that annoying kid who isn’t even mine” I told her that Nora is mine and kicked her out of my home for insulting my child in my home
I have been getting texts from her friends who all think I’m an asshole.
Now the guy is asking “Am I the A**hole for lying to my girlfriend about having a daughter?”
Commenters definitely sided with the man with the majority agreeing he wasn’t at fault. In fact, many praised him for being such a loving father figure to his ‘daughter.’
Here are some of the comments:
NTA. Biological father or not, legal guardian or not, you are responsible for Nora and it’s part of your job to advocate for her, which is exactly what you were doing. You owe no one an explanation of the true nature of your relationship with Nora.
NTA, Doesn’t matter if Nora is your biological child or not, she is you daughter in your eyes, her eyes and your families eyes. Sounds like you need a new gf.
The context being that if she’d known the whole time that Nora wasn’t biologically yours, she wouldn’t have been trying to get along with her, is all you need to know.
NTA. Your biological relationship with your daughter is no-one’s business. You sound like a great dad and it’s good you learn so early on that this (ex) wasn’t a good match with you and your daughter.
It is a bit weird that you never explained this situation more in a year of dating. But that really is irrelevant compared to the scale of your GF’s AH-ness. Hopefully you meant ex-GF.
NTA ….I can’t write that big enough. NTA. That is for all intensive purposes your child. Keep that child protected at all costs. A woman will never be worth what that child is worth. How the child is yours is not relevant. You did not “force her to tolerate” anything. As you said it is unequivocally a package deal. Bless you for ridding your home of that woman and her toxic behaviour. Anyone who thinks otherwise is not putting the child as a priority. You are not the ah.
NTA. Whether or not your her legal guardian or biological father, Nora and your family see you as her father figure.
If your gf does not understand this or respect the wonderful act of taking a child who lost her parent into your life, make her your ex.
You didn’t lie. You have a child who you are raising, that means you have a child. I can’t believe I’m saying NTA to anything with this title but you are definitely NTA and you are better off without the gf.
What do you think? Do you agree with the comments?